The Media: Old and New
Disappointing and long game last night. Oh well. Nothing changed in the standings and the boys of San Francisco never gave up. CSNBA’s after game analysis however? In a word. Flatulent. And someone needs to slap the “smug” right off Greg Papa’s face.
Also, I caught the post game wrap show and it dawned on me that it’s actually kind of annoying to watch as well.You know, when Krup and Kuip and Miller and Fleming do their little run-downs and players of the game on TV. Especically annoying is Duane Kuiper who seems to be wishing he were anywhere else, waving at someone off camera– looking off with a distant glance signaling some dingo with his mic like he’s guiding some child’s remote control plane for a landing.
That being said, for whatever reason I *do* enjoy listening to this shtick on the radio. Go figure.And so we shall.
Don’t get me wrong, modern television is an amazing thing. Matt Cain’s perfect game was the first one I’d ever seen and I would have missed it if it weren’t for television. But still modern TV sports coverage, especially when it’s on FOX…SUX. And a lot of modern sports radio can be downright wrenching.
But there’s still something about baseball on the radio.
I know a number of us have mentioned before that as kids we would watch TV with the sound down and listen to the game on the radio. But now 21st Century broadcasting’s so convoluted you can’t do that anymore as the timing’s off by a few seconds (unless you want to get all clever with TIVO or something). And even today, when a game is especially tense like last night and I’m legally sober, sometimes I’ll turn off the TV, jump in the car and drive around listening to the game. It has a certain calming effect on me.
Maybe I’m just nostalgic but there was something that seemed a little more pure in my youth with the whole radio/baseball connection. And it wasn’t just for listening to games. There seemed to be a lot of shows just talking about baseball and sports in general on the radio before they became forums for the listening audience to call in doing what often enough comes off as an unintentionally bad Dennis Hopper imitation:
Marty Lurie: Okay, we’ve got Pinhead on the line. Go ahead, Pinhead. What’s on your mind?
Pinhead: Yeah, man, like Bochy, man? What are they gonna say about him? What are they gonna say? That he was a kind man? That he was a wise man? That he had plans, man? That he had wisdom? Bullshit, man!
Marty Lurie: Interesting thoughts, Pinhead. Are you referring to any strategies or moves in particular? Can you be more…
Pinhead: All nine innings, man, all nine innings! One through nine, no maybes, no supposes, no fractions. You can’t travel in space, you can’t go out into space, you know, without, like, you know, uh, with fractions – what are you going to land on – one-quarter, three-eighths? What are you going to do when you go from here to Venus or something? That’s dialectic physics.
Marty Lurie: Okay, okay. Good thoughts. Good thoughts. I think I see where you’re going with this. So tell me do you….
Pinhead: And he’ll just walk right by Brandon Belt, man. He won’t even notice him. And suddenly he’ll grab him, and he’ll throw him in a corner, and he’ll say, “Do you know that ‘if’ is the middle word in life? If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, if you can trust yourself when all men doubt you”… I mean Belt and Crawdaddy, Crawfish, Crawford and Whitey and Panda and fucking giraffes and fucking Melk-Maids and Maidens and fucking Timmy and perfect games and.. and me, man… no, I can’t… I’m a little man, I’m a little man, he’s… he’s a great man! I should have been a pair of ragged claws, crawdaddy claws, scuttling across floors of silent seas…
Marty Lurie: All right, then, uhm, yeah I get it… good call Pinhead, good call. A lot of good points. A lot of things to think about but we have to move on with some other callers…
Pinhead: I’m fucking splitting, Jack.
Yes. Love today’s TV. Love today’s radio. Mainly due to immediate access to facts and stats. Still. Radio was much better in the good old days. Even *before* our days. In that vein, I now leave you with an excerpt from the underappreciated Woody Allen film RADIO DAYS:
“Hello, sports fans and welcome to today’s edition of Bill Kern’s ‘Favorite Sports Legends.’ Today’s story is about a baseball player. His name was Kirby Kyle, a lean southpaw from Tennessee. He played for the old St. Louis Cardinals. He threw fast, and he had a good curve ball and all the hitters knew it. He was a kid with a great future.
But one day, he went hunting. He loved to hunt, just like his father and his father’s father. Chasing a rabbit, he stumbled, and his rifle went off. The bullet entered his leg. Two days later, it was amputated. They said he would never pitch again. But the next season, he was back. He had one leg but he had something more important. He had heart.
The following winter, another accident cost Kirby Kyle an arm. Fortunately, not his pitching arm. He had one leg and one arm, but more than that, he had heart. The next winter, going after duck, his gun misfired. He was blind but he had instinct as to where to throw the baseball. Instinct…and heart.
The following year, Kirby Kyle was run over by a truck and killed. The following season, he won 18 games in the Big League in the sky. This has been Bill Kern with another ‘Favorite Sports Legend.’”