Michael Pineda is the Dumbest Baseball Player of All Time
I’m having a hard time processing just how dumb Michael Pineda might be. Does an IQ score result ever go negative? Cause it should, at least when it comes to this dipstick.
To review, Pineda gets busted on April 10th with a hand full of pine tar on his HAND. No big deal, he didn’t get caught during the game, but the pics and the video were clear in their rendering. No harm, no foul, no one seemed to really care, just don’t do it again or at least don’t put in in the same exposed spot again.
Two weeks go by, he’s now playing the same team. But instead of slathering his palm with it, Pineda (and I just want to point out the hilarity of the first 4 letters of his name)….decides to trick everyone by….wait for it….slathering the pine tar on his neck!
This was a brilliant idea that Pineda posited to himself without peers nearby to offer corrective feedback—–no one would ever think to check if it was on his NECK since the last time he cheated he put it on his PALM. Different exposed body part = no one will ever know. The neck and the palm are so far away from each other, he bemused quietly to himself, this was the plan which promised to be his best and greatest one yet…..
And I can only imagine the scene in the dugout pre-game. These guys are all 3 feet from each other. Did dipshit Girardi ever think to mention to PINEada how stupid it was to dumb a gallon of pine tar on his neck? Did the pitching coach say anything? Did Brian McCann bother to say, without laughing, “Bro, come on now….”
The stupid, half cocked way he wears his hat is reason enough to eject him—or at least ballpark his low, LOW IQ….
I’m thinking that before his next start he takes a shower and replaces the water with pine tar. This dude is a freaking genius, what could possibly go wrong?