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How to Avoid the Dreaded Curse of “Zito’s Law”….

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on September 13, 2010

Actually, that was a trick question, there’s no way to avoid it. The only question is how it will unfold in a game…

Zito’s Law: “Whe he pitches, dumb shit happens”

The theorems (with slight generalizations):

1) Zito will always get outpitched by the opposing pitcher. It could be just barely or obviously, but he will always get out-pitched

2) Our bats will go silent on days he pitches.

3) We will commit some dumbass defensive miscue at least twice  a game

4) Opponents hardest hit balls will always head in the direction of our slowest, least athletic players

5) If we ever manage to score a run, ZIto will automatically walk the first two batters of the next inning

6) The opponent’s game winning hit will always come from their worst hitter

There are probably some others, feel free to add them into the thread. Tuesday is Zito vs Kershaw. And let the law unfold…….

There seems to be some disagreement over who are leadoff hitter will be. As many have pointed out, it’s an overrated role since the leadoff hitter usually only leads off an inning once a game. But what’s not overrated is speed and defense. And I don’t see how we can keep running Burrell and Guillen out there with anyone other than Ford in CF. If they want to go with an outfield of Burrell/Rowand/Ross I could moderately dig that. Maybe Burrell/Ross/Schierholz– in that case I was thinking they could bat Franchez first since he got some experience but now that I heard he’s limping on a bad knee again that idea is probably off the shelf. Ross has almost no experience batting leadoff…….

It won’t happen but the best idea is to run Darren Ford out there. With no book on him he could easily get away with a successful 10 game run at the plate. And his speed and defense would allow Bochy to still go “Water Buffalo Defense” in the outfield…….

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  1. TedSpe said, on September 13, 2010 at 8:59 pm

    Totally off subject but funny as hell.
    I live in an apartment building. And I was told, after an inspection, that for whatever reason my toilet and shower/bathtub was causing leaks in the parking garage one floor under me, even though it had no affect on my apartment itself.
    So, they made an appointment to replace my toilet and do some sealing on the shower/bathtub today.
    Which they did.
    I got home from work and lo and behold, a new toilet.
    Plastic cover over the seat and inside this plastic cover…
    an instruction booklet

    • xootsuit said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:08 pm

      Uso de papel está bien. Buena suerte.

      • TedSpe said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:19 pm

        xoot, why do you always revert to Mandarin??!! You *know* I only understand Cantonese!!

    • DJLoo said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:14 pm

      BTW Ted, your hair dryer should not be immersed under water during operation.

      • TedSpe said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:20 pm

        There goes my Fridays

  2. Michael said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:00 pm

    Well, I’ve still not figured out the little whirly gig thing he does on ground balls. He goes two feet to his left, does the spin, and Kruk goes crazy over his range..

  3. Macdog said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:04 pm

    Damn Rockies, we coulda been in first place.

    Or . . .

    Yay Pads, way to cool off that Colorado juggernaut!

  4. dirtnrocksnreno said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:10 pm

    When Sanchez jumps back at that first pitch of an AB like it was high and tight but it is really right down the middle. That bugs me…

    • unca chuck said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:19 pm

      Yeah Dirt. Much like Velez used to stand in the box like a statue with the bat on his shoulder on the 1st pitch. Bugged the crap out of me.

  5. xootsuit said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:17 pm

    When the Little Gamer slaps a double down the RF line to win the WS you’ll all be singing his praise.

    • Michael said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:19 pm

      Absolutely. So what?

    • DJLoo said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:24 pm

      Of course he’ll probably be wearing a Cardinal uniform when he does it…

    • xootsuit said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:27 pm

      So? So we all know that if it all came down to him at the plate with the two out in the ninth of game seven, we would have a good shot. The runt’s ok. His knee, however, may not be. That’s a whole different story.

      • Michael said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:55 pm

        OK, for the sake of the discussion, the runner is on second. Top to bottom, here is who we want up, based on hitting with RISP (Fontenot, Ross, etc. is for the whole year, not just here):
        1. Fontenot
        2. Buster
        3. Torres
        4. Huff
        5. Guillen
        6. Fruckie
        7. Ross
        8. Nate
        9. Uribe
        10. Ishikawa
        11. Rowand
        12. Burrell
        13. Panda
        14. Whitey

        Again, this is by the numbers.

  6. Michael said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:24 pm

    The Little Gamer, I like that. I liked Henry’s bit, too. Freddy was limping after the game, but “limping briskly”….

    • TedSpe said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:26 pm

      “limping briskly”. That’s great.
      “That limp had attitude, baby, YEAH!”

  7. unca chuck said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:26 pm

    That would be Rent, Xoot.

    What’s this fake hustle shit? Sanchez is just beat up.

  8. dirtnrocksnreno said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:28 pm

    Maybe its the one on one competition, the similarity to a pitcher versus hitter battle, 2 pros at the top of their profession getting after it and seeing who’s got the best on that day but I have always liked watching a tenis grand slam final. Nadal absolutely dismantled Djokovic and completed the career Grand Slam in the process.

    Props.

  9. snarkk said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:28 pm

    If Rent slaps a double down the line to win the WS, that alone would be worth the $9 million he’s getting to ride off into the sunset…

  10. Nipper said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:31 pm

    BF give a shit! Even if I don’t, I expect you to still carry the flame.

    • TedSpe said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:33 pm

      Nipper, are you still allowed to be up? It’s past 9:30!!

  11. zumarust said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:32 pm

    Franchez’s public relations problem with Giants fans is that he let us down bigtime last year, so there wasn’t much wiggle room for him this season. And he hasn’t been much of an impact player on offense this season, other than that stretch when he went about 20 for 40 recently. His defense has been good, overall.

  12. zumarust said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:34 pm

    The working world is full of fake hustle. People that look busy only when the boss walks by.

    • dirtnrocksnreno said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:37 pm

      That’s for sure. In fact I have perfected it.

    • xootsuit said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:40 pm

      Alienated laborers do what they have to do to get by. I helped organize a union in the 80s. Nobody else agreed with me that we should work harder, hardest we could, during the dispute. Took me a long time to gain sympathy with that mindset.

  13. DJLoo said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:43 pm

    I helped organize a closet once.

    • xootsuit said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:46 pm

      The Chiefs have looked ok tonight.

  14. wswinb4igo said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    Are you guys talking about Franchez cause he’s on the cover with a story at the gate site…

    http://www.sfgate.com/giants/

  15. DJLoo said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:49 pm

    Yeah, Xoot! Sure hope they can hang on. I think they’re 10-38 the last 3 years. Big infusion of youth & speed this season. Stark contrast to our favorite baseball team…

  16. TedSpe said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:55 pm

    The Chiefs? We suddenly give a shit about the Chiefs?
    xoot, what industry did you help unionize?

    • TedSpe said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:57 pm

      I’m only asking because those motherfuckers who rip my ticket in half at the movie theatres look like they could use some help
      😉

    • DJLoo said, on September 13, 2010 at 9:59 pm

      People who stuff pimentos in olives?

      • TedSpe said, on September 13, 2010 at 10:06 pm

        Or the guys/gals that put those cotton balls in pill containers.
        Shit ain’t easy!

    • xootsuit said, on September 13, 2010 at 10:44 pm

      I didn’t help unionize an “industry.” While I was laid off from my regular (heavy industry, union) job, I helped unionize a small bakery, in Berkeley. And some around here do indeed give a shit about the Chiefs.

  17. DJLoo said, on September 13, 2010 at 10:19 pm

    Super Bowl I rematch is on track!
    First things first: Avenge ’62 WS.
    Freddy snares searing liner off Teixeira’s bat to end it…

    • xootsuit said, on September 13, 2010 at 10:29 pm

      That’s good. Bobby R., Freddy S. Pretty good match.

  18. Michael said, on September 13, 2010 at 10:21 pm

    Too bad he’s out. Redemption at last for Sabes would be Nathan blowing the save in Game 7…

  19. TedSpe said, on September 13, 2010 at 10:22 pm

    Goodnight, gentlemen (question mark)
    (Notice how I put the “,” between gentlmen and question mark. Just as ya’ll need to put it between pine and meat)
    Time for an old Universal horror film…

  20. Macdog said, on September 13, 2010 at 10:23 pm

    You mean it’s not going to be a Jets-Cowboys Super Bowl?

  21. Nipper said, on September 13, 2010 at 10:48 pm

    Spe looking in the mirror? Horror film? Boris Karloff looking back?

  22. delmardennis said, on September 13, 2010 at 11:01 pm

    Karloff’s greatest performance? That’s an easy one. As the voice and narrator of Dr. Seuss’ “How the Grinch Stole Christmas!” Without question, my favorite and the best Christmas special of all time. Which reminds me…

    Merry Christmas!

    • Nipper said, on September 14, 2010 at 1:11 am

      One finger salute to that!

  23. snarkk said, on September 13, 2010 at 11:10 pm

    I beg to differ. A Charlie Brown Christmas is THE classic. And, the teacher’s voice in those CB specials was always a chuckledriver — muffled and squawky, disembodied, easy to ignore. Much like Oracle’s posts….

    • Nipper said, on September 14, 2010 at 1:14 am

      Twin is not going to like that! Better retract! His dog is barking him awake. He’s going towards his computer………Snarkk Alert has sounded!


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