A Place To Talk About Giants Baseball

This Bizarre Offense

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on September 22, 2010

Over their last 45 innings, the Giants have scored exactly one run with a hit that didn’t involve a home run. That is astounding and probably a major league record of some sort. The offense should get sent to Cooperstown just on the basis of it’s unique absurdity. Our problem is that everyone is trying to be THE GUY and do something with one big hit. Walks, base hits, that’s all out the fucking window with this offense. Just swing for the fences and hope for the best— dangerous game to play at this point in the season……….

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  1. wswinb4igo said, on September 22, 2010 at 8:27 pm

    Couldn’t agree more…the o should be ashamed of themselves…The PS has been lights out…15/16 straight 3 runs or less.

  2. TedSpe said, on September 22, 2010 at 8:29 pm

    The O should be ashamed. The BG needs work. And the YN is stanky

  3. TedSpe said, on September 22, 2010 at 8:58 pm

    If memory serves, and I could be wrong, I think I kind of liked Greg Papa as a Warriors announcer. As a post game analyst for the Giants, however, he is the complete fucking worst. His knowledge of baseball makes me look like Bruce Jenkins. And his hatred for Sandoval, which is tinged with fucking narrow minded bullshit because Sandoval happens to speak English as a second language, is outright venal.
    Cocky, ugly, creepy looking little fuckhead, this Papa. I’m ashamed to call him a fellow Greek.
    Giants lost. Didin’t look good tonight. They need to work some things out. But Papa’s smug little fuckhead gloating reminds me of…oh no..shit..
    PAPA POSTS ON THE SPLASH!!!!!

  4. EdGdsnInExile said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    I had to work and missed the game, except to check scores. But caught up through your comments. As bad as the Giants offense is, can you imagine what’s going through Torres’ head on the bench? I really hope he doesn’t come back too soon and injure himself. Don’t know what to do about the offense. Inserting Ishi and/or Nate might help as they’ve had some good ABs recently. But they’d press just as much as the others, especially given their lack of playing time and desire to produce. At least we’re now at a place where it’s truly up to us to get in; we can’t count on the Dodgers or the D-Backs to do our work for us. Maybe that will help in a weird way.

    As for the earlier thread on Velez’ merits, I thought he adapted pretty well in LF and his instincts started to catch up with his athleticism. I saw him lay out across the LF line in the Tim-Pedro game in Philly last September. All the Phillie fans stood with a ‘Who was THAT guy?’ expression as he ran back to the dugout.

    • TedSpe said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:20 pm

      Please excuse my igorance Ed but what does “lay out across the LF line” mean?

      • EdGdsnInExile said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:30 pm

        In my lexicon, Ted, laying out is getting horizontal in a dive to catch the ball. In this case, one E. Velez ran and dove for the ball catching/sliding across the left-field foul line. To the amazement of all in attendance.

      • unca chuck said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:30 pm

        It;s either a new Olympic even or some kind of drug reference.

  5. snarkk said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:20 pm

    $25K to each guy that draws a walk tomorrow night, per walk. Maybe that would help these guys take some decent ABs…

  6. snarkk said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:26 pm

    Start Rohand tomorrow night. It’s that desperate…

  7. unca chuck said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:27 pm

    Thanks Ted. I woulda been posting in the void that is the previous blog for HOURS . . .

    • TedSpe said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:37 pm

      You’re welcome, Chuck

  8. snarkk said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:29 pm

    Does this horrible non-hitting streak mean Bam Bam gets Can Canned? I don’t think they had a streak this horrendous under Carney, and he had a worse set of hitters to work with…

  9. unca chuck said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:31 pm

    Fuck SD, BTW.

    And fuck Fuck Piss Santangelo

  10. EdGdsnInExile said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:32 pm

    If my math is correct, Giants’ offense Pre-Torres Appendectomy (PTA) produced 4.34 runs per game; Post-Torres Appendectomy (also PTA) is 3.22. Apparently, the man is worth at least a run per game.

    • TedSpe said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:36 pm

      Thanks for the explanation, Ed. in.re. the lay off thingie

    • TellItGoodbye said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:36 pm

      But you can do a similar pre and post analysis showing that Burrell and Guillen haven’t been worth anything, on balance, since they’ve come on, if you only look at run totals, true?

      • TedSpe said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:42 pm

        I beg to differ
        “please let me differ, please let me differ, please let me differ!!!!”
        If you think the Giants were better off without them, you’re dumber than me

      • EdGdsnInExile said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:59 pm

        Maybe, maybe not. Maybe you ask the question rhetorically, TellIt–but if not, it’s almost 1 AM on the East Coast, so I’ll let you do the math!

  11. snarkk said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:34 pm

    Fuckin A, blow this shit up. Tomorrow night start Velez, Burris, Ford, Nate, Rohlinger, Whiteside. Total blow your mind mad hatter lineup. They cannot do worse than score Zero again…

  12. delmardennis said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:41 pm

    I’m thinking maybe our beloved “Bonehead” goes for a little shakeup tomorrow. Guillen 0/9 w/ 4 Ks, Huff 3/19, Shitholtz 2/2 and Pablo 4/9 vs Dempster. Huff’s a little banged up, and has 9 Ks in his last 21 ABs, he could use a blow. Give Shitholtz a start in RF just because, and give Burriss at start at SS and lead him off just because of why not. Move Juan over to 3B, and Dom DeLuise to 1B just because it can’t fucking hurt.

    Burriss SS
    Franchez 2B
    “ROY” C
    The Bat LF
    Juan 3B
    DeLuise 1B
    Ross CF
    Shitholtz RF
    Bum P

    And for the love of Christ, hit some goddamn home runs.

    • TedSpe said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:44 pm

      Your last sentence. Wasn’t that an Andrew Lloyd Webber song?

  13. unca chuck said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    For every half-gainer into the LF bull pen for Velez, there are the occasional butchering of the the can-of-corn catches. . .

    He’s an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a mystery.

    How is it that SD still has 2 more games to play than the Giants?

    • TedSpe said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:48 pm

      Thanks, Spiro. Why ya fucking with the Greeks? Greg Papa?

  14. Michael said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:47 pm

    Pay attention next time, this is the price you pay for Burrell, Guillen,etc. They’re not in the race without them, Burrell in particular. Possible we see Nate tomorrow, but really it won’t be much different than tonight.

    • TedSpe said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:49 pm

      Sure. Jump on the bandwagon of my point

  15. unca chuck said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:48 pm

    Come on fuckdogs…

  16. TellItGoodbye said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:48 pm

    Heath Bell throws 3 strikes in 14 pitches and has 2 outs in the 9th … Dodgers swing at two 2-0 pitches out of the strike zone down by 2. Of course … kinda hard for the Giants to complain about such things.

  17. unca chuck said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:48 pm

    Traffic shouldn’t be bad getting out of dodger stadium tonight.

    • TedSpe said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:51 pm

      Nope. Still bad.
      Fucking LA

  18. delmardennis said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:50 pm

    The Dodgers suck Peter North Pole.

    • TedSpe said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:51 pm

      Friend of yours?

    • delmardennis said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:55 pm

      Sorry, that should read, The Dodgers “smoke” Peter North Pole.

      Trying to be cute after falling from first place isn’t as easy as it looks. šŸ™‚

  19. unca chuck said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:51 pm

    Wow. A totally disgusting and pathetic effort by the dogs.

    Then again, so was ours.

  20. Michael said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:53 pm

    The Rockies losing is bigger, though.

  21. unca chuck said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:53 pm

    At least Az is winning going away. 8-4

  22. TedSpe said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:53 pm

    Chuck, ya paraphrased Spiro Agnew
    Hence the Greek comment.
    No real issues

    • TedSpe said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:54 pm

      Or did ya have no idea Agnew was Greek.
      If so…issues

  23. unca chuck said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:55 pm

    I thought that was Churchill

    • TedSpe said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:59 pm

      Churchill? You’re really impressing the scholars around here.
      I love you chuck but I can never tell whether you’re joking or are an actual moron

      • TedSpe said, on September 22, 2010 at 10:01 pm

        And I mean that with love

      • unca chuck said, on September 22, 2010 at 10:04 pm

        Uh, what?

        Agnew didn’t say it. Churchill did.

  24. unca chuck said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:57 pm

    …talking about Russia

  25. Michael said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:58 pm

    The Rockies cannot deal a fatal blow regardless of what happens this weekend. But the Giants can about end the Rocks’ hopes.

    • EdGdsnInExile said, on September 22, 2010 at 10:05 pm

      This is a good point, Twin–at about 10 games, numbers, that is 1 1/2 or 2 1/2 games back, really matter. We’ve just got to ‘play our game’, not wait for someone else to win/lose. Funny how cliches contain some real truth…

  26. unca chuck said, on September 22, 2010 at 9:59 pm

    Lets get some runs in Chicago tomorrow before we think about Colo.

  27. snarkk said, on September 22, 2010 at 10:01 pm

    I can see the Rockies from my porch…

    • TedSpe said, on September 22, 2010 at 10:01 pm

      How Palinthropic

  28. delmardennis said, on September 22, 2010 at 10:01 pm

    “Friend of yours?”

    Nope, like Baggarly is to Flavor, he’s an “esteemed colleague” of mine.

    • TedSpe said, on September 22, 2010 at 10:02 pm

      Ahh. Purely professional?

    • unca chuck said, on September 22, 2010 at 10:15 pm

      steemed or smoled?

      • unca chuck said, on September 22, 2010 at 10:16 pm

        * smoked *Fuck. Can;t type. time for bed . . .

  29. Michael said, on September 22, 2010 at 10:13 pm

    I’m looking past tomorrow, I’m an internet couch potato, not a ball player. I can do that. They’ll win tomorrow, easy. I’m not calling they lose 2 of 3 in Colorado but I can see it. So they lead Colorado by 1 1/2 when they get home. Tied with SD.

  30. unca chuck said, on September 22, 2010 at 10:13 pm

    All Agnew was good for was his ‘nattering nabobs of negativism’ talking about the press . . .

    That, and copping a plea . . .

    • TedSpe said, on September 22, 2010 at 10:18 pm

      I personally have never copped a plea.
      I have, however, pleaded with a few cops

    • TedSpe said, on September 22, 2010 at 10:23 pm

      By the way, or to quote the kids today…
      BTW…
      My brain just woke up and it *was* Churchill, chuck. And nabobbing *was* Agnew.
      I’d like to say I was fucking with you but in reality, I’ve simply grown stupid in my old age.
      Forgive

    • xootsuit said, on September 22, 2010 at 10:39 pm

      agnew didn’t write his own speeches.

  31. TedSpe said, on September 22, 2010 at 10:26 pm

    Bottom line. I *can’t* multi task.
    Sorry again Chuck. I’m sure as shit I made you think more than twice
    And to you and all my friends and Romans,
    Goodnight, gentlemen (question mark)

  32. TedSpe said, on September 22, 2010 at 10:31 pm

    Oh. One more thing, since Chuck brought up Churchill.
    You’ve all probably all heard this but it’s always worth repeating.
    Churchill was whooping it up at some state dinner/soiree thingie abd he was introduced to some cuntess who had the sense of humor of a cactii. She stated:
    “Mr. Churchill, you are drunk!!!”
    And he replied:
    “Yes, Madam. And you are ugly. But when I wake up tomorrow…I will be sober.”
    And on *that*!
    Goodnight, gentlemen (?)

  33. TedSpe said, on September 22, 2010 at 10:36 pm

    Oh (sorry) but speaking of Churchill, here’s one you all have probably heard before but…
    Churchill was at a high and mighty social function and enjoying the available libations so to speak. He was introduced to some Grande Dame who stated:
    “Mr. Churchill! You are drunk!!”
    And he replied:
    “Yes, madam. And you are ugly. But tomorrow morning…I will be sober”

    • xootsuit said, on September 22, 2010 at 10:38 pm

      James McMurtry worked that tale into one of his more sardonic songs.

  34. unca chuck said, on September 22, 2010 at 10:37 pm

    AKA, the flubbering fuckwads of flapdom . . .

  35. xootsuit said, on September 22, 2010 at 10:56 pm

    Posey had a terrible night. Unusual, for him. He’ll bounce back quickly. Pablo just seems to be at the nadir of one of his cyclical slumps (this season). who the fuck knows when he’ll show some life. Huff, as they pointed out on the telecast, has been dinged mercilessly the last week or so. Who knows how Franchez’s knee, Uribe’s entire aging body, or Zito’s thoroughly absurd psyche are doing. So it’s crunch time. Lotta fun to be here, after all those years of not.


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