A Place To Talk About Giants Baseball

An Epic Under Water Tale of Failure and Hope…..

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on August 19, 2011

Ever try to hold your breath under water? I’ve tried lots  of times. I’m not very good at it. Tonight’s game reminds me of what one of my Summer night’s might have looked like if I ignored the time continuum. I’m imagining that I’m trying to break the under water hold-your-breath record at Lake Lagunitas that BILLY MAYO held in the Summer of ’81. Now I’m under water, determined to finally break this epic Summer record. It seems that several minutes have now passed by. I have fucking GOT this. Except now a panic attack is setting in. A legitimate panic attack is setting in and I’m under water and I am going to fucking die! What are my friends going to tell my parents? That I died trying to break some dumbfuck under water record at the local lake? Ok, my lungs are literally about to explode. Don’t freak out, just think about 1 or 2 more things to pass the time and then the record will be secured, it will be yours. Glory. Destiny. Hmmmmm. Ummmm. Ricky Waters used to say some funny shit. “For who? For what?” Shit! New subject!!!!! My insides now feel like they are on fire. Not like some stupid ass “Building 7” fire, but a legitimate raging forest fire that’s torching the entire side of a mountain. Mountains are nice. I like Lake Tahoe. And bacon…..That’s fucking it! I’m coming up!

Oh my God!!!!!!! Air rules!!! It fucking rules!!!!! And so do I!!!!!! Under water holding breath record 1981, baby!!! Ok, give it to me, tell me what my time was. How long was I down there? I thought I was gonna die…….

“Dude, that was like a minute. You missed Billy’s record by a mile. Idiot.”

I glumy pulled myself from the lake; mud stuck between my toes, my chest still on fire. The magnitude of this great record engulfing me is only eclipsed by how incredibly stupid my attempt was in the first place. I suck…….

My best friend strolls by and offers a half assed condolence:

“Don’t sweat it dude. You can’t hold your breath for shit. But at least you have something to look forward to: August 23rd, 2011…….

145 Responses

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  1. wilcojoe said, on August 20, 2011 at 8:46 pm

    Arizona has to be pretty relaxed knowing they have lost 4 out of 5, but still lead the Giants by 2 1/2 games…For the Giants it has to be the opposite emotion, especially win you lose two in a row to the worst team in Astros franchise history.

  2. twinfan1 said, on August 20, 2011 at 8:49 pm

    I disagree- AZ has blown a chance to put us away, we’re coming home, and getting healthy..

    • Nipper said, on August 20, 2011 at 9:19 pm

      NYG54 misses you on the Splash. He wonders where are all the pollies?

      • twinfan1 said, on August 20, 2011 at 9:22 pm

        I’m accumulating numbskull posts for the Boykins,,,

      • blade3colorado said, on August 20, 2011 at 9:44 pm


  3. zumie said, on August 20, 2011 at 8:50 pm

    Regarding “throwing fits,” Dennis, my experience in life is that in stressful situations, a person throwing a fit is the LEAST productive person in that situation.

  4. ewisco said, on August 20, 2011 at 9:16 pm

    see you all tomorrow.

  5. twinfan1 said, on August 20, 2011 at 9:26 pm

    That’s always a possibility..before bed, I was wondering: has anyone mentioned that this team doesn’t hit very well? I think that’s been a neglected topic that needs a lotta discussion..

  6. DJLoo said, on August 20, 2011 at 10:05 pm

    Cheer up!

  7. snarkk said, on August 20, 2011 at 10:34 pm

    Speaking of LouSeal, the dude that plays LouSeal got a WS ring.
    Well, he does have a better glove than Freddles…

  8. TedSpe said, on August 20, 2011 at 10:46 pm

    Arizona loses as well. August is a gimme. Sure it’s frustrating. But August is a gimme. I don’t give a shit about streaks or even wins or losses. Not in August. August is a gimme. Get back to me, see how I feel Septemer 15th. August is a gimme. Knowing dude nods are still qualified. As is basking. August is a gimme. Fuck all ya’ll that think otherwise. You can’t control injuries or bad luck. August is a gimme. Thanks for the video, DJLoo. August is a gimme.
    Goodnight gentlemen, question mark

  9. snarkk said, on August 21, 2011 at 10:22 am

    Fontenot at SS 2day. Sweet.
    You knew Wilson was going on the DL. Whenever the Giants say a guy will be down a few days with soreness or tendintis, that means the DL
    This is a man up game. If they can’t beat their former farmhand, well, that will suck. Keppinger needs to get at least one hit off the guy they traded for him.
    Gyros have played like zombies the last two games. Ross boots a double into an inside the parker, Nate’s playing juggle ball, Huff matadoring at first, everybody swinging at more slop than usual.
    And now Joe Lefebvre, Sabes buddy formerly banished to scouting, is back on the hitting coach beat to help Bam the hitting into shape. Wow, that’ll be huge….

  10. willieD said, on August 21, 2011 at 10:59 am

    In Shea’s article today, gibson is listed as mgr. of the year candidate. Winning teams get far too much of the credit, imo (charile manuel being exhibit A); often someone with less talent on their team actually is a far better mgr. and does a better job. If SF were to win the division with all the injuries and under performance of those who were here last year, I think bochy has to get at least as much credit as 2010.
    And unlike some doofuses on baggs blog, I don’t think he and sabean “lucked into it.”

    • Macdog said, on August 21, 2011 at 11:08 am

      Since you’re a hoops guy, one of the best coaching jobs I’ve seen in any sport was Chuck Daly with the 93-94 NJ Nets. He somehow went 45-37 with a starting lineup of Kenny Anderson, Kevin Edwards, Chris Morris, Derrick Coleman and Benoit Benjamin. Daly deserved the Hall of Fame just for that alone.

  11. Del Mar Dennis said, on August 21, 2011 at 10:59 am

    What time is first pitch of today’s next loss? We stink on ice…

  12. Macdog said, on August 21, 2011 at 11:24 am


  13. PawlieKokonuts said, on August 21, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    Magnus enters the realm of coming-of-age literature, the next-after-next J.D. Salinger redux.

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