THE San Francisco Giants Blog

The Fine Art of Heckling

Posted in Uncategorized by unca_chuck on July 16, 2012

To conntinue Pawlie’s thread on talking at (or to) beasball games, the natural course of that leads to heckling. Heckling has been around since the Stone Age, when Ooog tried to demonstrate the art of fire starting to his esteemed colleagues in the cave. “Ooog! You stink. Fire don’t come from sticks. You dumber than rock!” Socrates (“Examine THIS, Socrates!”), Jesus (“C’mon, dude, turn my lake into wine”!), Caesar (“Watch yer back!”), Shakespeare (Thou suckest! I fart in your general direction!”) and on down the line, anyone on the proverbial stage has drawn the slings and arrows of hecklers.

Heckling at baseball games s truly an art form. As a kid, I heard them all.

Heckling opponents: “Whats-a-matter with Drysdale? He’s a BUM!!” “Who’s your Padre, Steve?”

Heckling umpires:”Hey blue! If you had one good eye, you’d be cyclops!” “Where’s yer dog, blue?”

Heckling the home team. “How many outs, Jack?” “Chili DOG!” ted’s story of the lady yelling Chili COME HOME was too funny!

Most of the time, I used to heckle to get laughs from the crowd around us no matter where we were sitting. Usually in the cheap seats or the bleachers. Things were always a little more raunchy out there. Getting the ‘Orel Sax’ chant going in the bleachers was always fun when the Dodgers were in town. Some of the most fun heckling was just sitting down the RF line at the Stick and heckling Jack Clark. Those cold lonely nights at the Stick, when the team was atrocious, we’d give him shit just to try and get a reaction. How many outs, Jack? was always the opening heckle. One night we all recited the holy hand grenade lines from Monthy Python and the Holy Grail. “One . . . two . . FIVE!!!” That got as a chuckle, and a quick finger as he jogged off the field.

I did manage to get to one opposing player back in the day, and it didn’t turn out well. Me and a couple of friends were able to sneak into good seats between home and 3rd base, about 12 rows up for a St Louis game. Darrell Porter, fresh off his rehab stint for booze, Coke, and Luudes, was catching that night. When he stepped into the on-deck circle, I yelled out “Don’t look down! That’s chalk, not coke!” That got a lot of laughs from the crowd around me, some ‘ooooh’s as well. Porter turned around and gave me the dirtiest look I’ve gotten in my life (well, next to my “break a leg, Joe!” to Joe Theismann at the 1998 Pro Boewl).. Porter walked up and jacked a three run homer. He had a big smile on his face rounding 3rd. Next AB I yell to him. Sorry ’bout that, Darrell. I’ll buy ya a beer after the game!” Another dirty look, boom! Another home run. 2 RBIs for that one. Another big smile.  When DP came up in the 8th inning, everyone around me yelled “shut up!” Porter turned around, laughed, and grounded out. Proud moment? No, not really. Did I get laughs? Oh yeah. Is it fair to play upon the foibles of our opponents? Sure, why not? I was young and crazy. Some hecklers, like the Washington Bullets b-ball fan who relentelssly heckled from behind the opponents bench for some 20 years, gain some form of notoriety, as with the bleacher bums in Chi-town.

The real pisser to me was the Giants lost that night, and Porter did the most damage, with 5 ribbies that night. Did I drive him to one of his best games as a pro? Could be. Did I seal the Giants fate that night? Possibly. The Giants sucked anyway, so the loss wasn’t a killer, and having endured so many losses around that era, it was a fair trade I suppose.

So, what are some of the better heckles you’ve said, or witnessed. And gimme anything. Comedian heckles, politicians, rock stars, whatcha got?


119 Responses

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  1. Ryan said, on July 16, 2012 at 9:13 am

    Laughing at someone’s drug or alcohol problems is shameful. Orel Sax? Sopho’moronic.

  2. twinfan1 said, on July 16, 2012 at 9:22 am

    I recently talked about heckling, I’ll leave the remembrances to others…just some notes to recap:
    The Master Heckler has to be truly funny, not just loud
    Just getting the target to look at you is huge- if he laughs? Gold- comes into the stands? You’re HOF, baby..

    • unca_chuck said, on July 16, 2012 at 10:00 am

      I saw Mike Marshall try to come into the stands at the Stick. He got popped twice in the face for his efforts, and quickly ran back into the digout.

  3. zumie said, on July 16, 2012 at 9:34 am

    I’m reminded of a game I was at during the late ’80s, at the Oakland Coliseum. The A’s vs. the Royals. We were sitting in those awesome bleacher seats the A’s used to have, in centerfield, and we were mercilously riding Willie Wilson all game. Why? Because he was there! There, playing centerfield a few feet away from us. And, sure, we’d like to think that we could cause him to lose his focus and maybe he’d misplay a ball or two. He was really struggling at the time, hitting .190 or something, and the basic theme of our heckles was “You’re washed up!” It was a Sunday game, last game of a series, and the Royals ended up winning the game, and as the last out was recorded, Willie turned to us, and using his glove to shield it from the rest of the stadium, flipped us a bird, and then jogged off towards the infield. I thought- “Yeah, we deserved that.” And I was impressed with how PROFESSIONAL he was about flipping the bird. Waited until the end of the series. Very well done.

  4. blade3colorado said, on July 16, 2012 at 9:41 am

    Weatherproof games: Nationals-Marlins, Indians-Rays, Cardinals-Brewers.

    Monday is shaping up to be a perfect day for offensive baseball, with sunny skies and warm temperatures expected throughout the land. Pirates-Rockies is the only contest on the dozen-game docket that has any significant rain chances. With Denver expected to get hit with a thunderstorm around 7 p.m. and again at 10 p.m., this could be a long night at Coors Field.

  5. PawlieKokonuts said, on July 16, 2012 at 9:45 am

    Tone is critical. No one likes a boorish lout. Last weekend a Pirates fan hoarsely and aggressively yelled unintelligible shit. It was a fight via voice a-brewing. My friend said, “Not all the steel mills have closed,” which slightly bothered me, with its classist undertone. I come from factory workers. We’re not boors. Or bores. Anyway, this bit of heckling comes to mind, and it’s not my own (I’m not much of a heckler, or deny it to myself): At Game 1 of the Series, in 2010, someone down in our little, dark cubbyhole of The Knothole, illuminated by the blast of light from the opening of the chain-link fence in right, yelled to Vladimir Guerrero, “Vlad, you’ll always be an Expo.” That was funny. And maybe that’s why he went on to commit errors.

  6. PawlieKokonuts said, on July 16, 2012 at 9:52 am

    In heckling Darrell Porter, you seemed to have had the wrong drug of choice: alcohol, not cocaine, if memory serves (which it never does, not exactly). I do recall Johnny Carson relating to the late Mike Wallace on “60 Minutes” how they backed off on “The Tonight Show” on Wilbur Mills jokes when Mills’s potential alcoholism was revealed. Wallace shot back to Carson: “It takes one to know one.” Carson was frozen. Stunned. When prodded, Carson reluctantly talked of some struggles with alcohol. I never forgot that bit of nastiness from Mike Wallace. Prick.

  7. unca_chuck said, on July 16, 2012 at 9:58 am

    Porter was into a lot of shit. He famously sat up one night in his living room holding a shotgun, waiting for Bowie Kuhn to come to the door to suspend him for life. That ain’t booze, that’s coke.

  8. twinfan1 said, on July 16, 2012 at 10:01 am

    Anyone remember when Frank Robinson either picked his nose (his story) or simulated snorting coke to “heckle” Steve Howe?

    • unca_chuck said, on July 16, 2012 at 10:05 am

      Nope, but I love it. You have to feel for a guy who can’t get out of his own way, no matter how hard he tries. Mr. 37 chances Howe finally went down in a blaze of meth-addled glory in Coachella . . . .

    • twinfan1 said, on July 16, 2012 at 10:18 am

      According to Darrel Evans, even the Giants didn’t like it, though. Which is pretty funny, but understandable- probably half of them were using, too. If I recall, it was nearly epidemic back in the early eighties.

      • twinfan1 said, on July 16, 2012 at 10:24 am

        Steve was a victim of a non-existent drug policy. Oh wait, there was a policy- trade the guy. let’s see: a LHer, threw hard, he’d only be 58 if he’d lived- be a durn good loogy after serving his 28th suspensin…

      • unca_chuck said, on July 16, 2012 at 11:34 am

        Right. The drug policy at the time was akin to the Cathiolic church dealing with pedophile priests. Move ’em somewhere else and hope they clean themselves up.

        Wasn’t there some kind of Congressional hearing regarding coke use in baseball? A la the steroid hearing in 2003?

      • PawlieKokonuts said, on July 16, 2012 at 12:37 pm

        I do remember. A Sunday afternoon. During a game. Against the Dodgers. Almost caused a fight.

  9. chipower9 said, on July 16, 2012 at 10:47 am

    Well, it was a busy weekend and I didn’t get on the Flap much. Pawlie – your thread topic yesterday was awesome. And since Chuck mentioned “continuing Pawlie’s thread” I’ll offer my two bits on yesterday’s thread. I absolutely talk during games. It can be with those with whom I am attending the game, either about the game or idle banter, and also with folks around me that I do not know. And like Flavor, I dig the high-fives with people you don’t even know. I also talk to myself (or with others…sometimes the dogs) when watching or listening to the game on the radio, and like snarkk, many are four letter hyphenated expletives (of either disgust, or joy).

    I have never been a heckler, but do admire someone whey they are good at it. Cannot really recall any of the better ones I have heard (guess that is an indicator as to how little heckling means to me). But, it is certainly something that has had a long history in sports…good topic, Chuck.

  10. snarkk said, on July 16, 2012 at 11:02 am

    Hecklers are OK, if they’re sparse and clever and not drunk about it. Some drunken lout yelling 4-letters every ten seconds at a Burriss-type pine rider is not my idea of a good time at the game. I’d trade some ump heckling for enhanced replay…

  11. blade3colorado said, on July 16, 2012 at 11:10 am

    The Big List of Batter Heckles:

    The only cleaning up you guys know about involves cleaning supplies
    DH? Does that stand for Don’t Have talent?
    Hey, Mendoza called. He wants his line back!
    I’ve seen monkeys take better swings!
    You want some belt with that buckle?
    Get a reciept because you just got rung up.
    You have a $200 bat in your hands . . . use it!
    You couldn’t hit sand if you fell off a camel!

    The Big List of Umpire Heckles

    I thought only horses slept standing up!
    It’s against the law to make prank calls!
    (Hold up cell phone) Is this your cell phone? Because it has three missed calls!
    That pitch was like your last date, you didn’t want to see her or call her.
    To batter as he steps into the box: “You better be swinging. You’re standing in the strike zone.”
    After the ump has dusted off home plate: “You’re gonna make someone a great wife someday!
    You’re not gonna sleep a minute tonight because you’ve slept all game.
    I didn’t pay 35 bucks to watch you call strikes!

    The Big List of Fielder Heckles

    This infield has more holes in it than a swiss cheese donut
    The only ring you’re going to get is an engagement ring!
    You’d better not shower after the game, your hands might rust!
    Last year he won the gold glove this year he is wearing it.
    Take the skillet out of your mitt it works better!
    I can throw a bowling ball better than that!
    Your team hates you!
    He couldn’t throw out Strom Thurmond!
    Bozo called and he wants his mitt back!

    Want more? See

    • blade3colorado said, on July 16, 2012 at 11:12 am

      Oh, almost forgot . . . Sorry Bozo. 🙂

  12. Macdog said, on July 16, 2012 at 11:26 am

    The one time I remember getting a reaction was at a Yanks-Blue Jays game in the mid-80s. We were near the Toronto dugout and Buck Martinez was on deck, so I yelled out, “Buck sucks.” I know, not very original, but it was enough to make Martinez whirl around and glare in our general direction. Otherwise, I’m rarely that close to the field to bother trying. Chuck’s chalk-coke line was always fun to yell at Strawberry, though.

    I’m not sure if this is urban legend, maybe Loo can corroborate. After Flyers goalie Pelle Lindbergh was killed driving his Porsche, New York Rangers fans supposedly chanted at his successor, Ron Hextall, “Get a Porsche, Hextall, get a Porsche!”

    • DJLoo said, on July 16, 2012 at 12:47 pm

      Actually, Mac it was “Drive” not “Get”……I never participated in it – or the endless and tired “Potvin sucks”

  13. Alleykat said, on July 16, 2012 at 11:44 am

    Always gave the Dodgers some razzing,especially at the Stick when a dodger had to make the long walk/run in some cases down the.R/F line to the bathrooms.Every body in the stadium knew that’s where their headed.
    Nice homefield advantage for the Giants, access to visiting teams with a dugout access to the head!

  14. twinfan1 said, on July 16, 2012 at 11:58 am

    Too many fans at ATT for heckling, the target has to hear you. You could head over to Billy’s House of Pain and Misery but if you get ID’d as a Giants’ fan ( get hold of an *old*A’s cap and a dirty bowling shirt) you could be in trouble.Just pay attention to who you’re heckling- if it’s a good player Billy probably traded him away recently. Pay attention to uniform numbers as well, Reddick could begin the game as an AAAA and finish it as a Ranger.

  15. zumie said, on July 16, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    TF, Loo, and Willie, thanks for the Clemente thoughts yesterday. Good stuff.

  16. eddacker said, on July 16, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    hey, Giants, looks like you’ll have the same batting line tonight.
    hey, Sabean, you get paid for money you DON’T spend?
    HEY! Brucy Baby, how many relievers to finish two innings?
    hey, Houston, wanna play for a winning team?

    • zumiee said, on July 16, 2012 at 12:43 pm

      Bochy managed yesterday knowing the Giants had the day off today.

      • zumiee said, on July 16, 2012 at 12:48 pm

        As for money the Giants spend or don’t spend….their $118 million payroll this season ranks them 8th in MLB, out of 30 teams.

      • eddacker said, on July 16, 2012 at 12:51 pm

        actually, I thought it was brilliant, L-R-L-R and it worked, too.
        now you know why I don’t heckle, besides I come down on Chi’s side: heckling (except the great ones) interests me little. And surprise, timing is a big part of a good heckle.

      • zumiee said, on July 16, 2012 at 1:04 pm

        Ah…..Ed, I’m a little slow sometimes. (grin)

    • chipower9 said, on July 16, 2012 at 1:08 pm

      Actually, the Giant payroll this year (according to Cot’s Baseball Contracts) is 131 mil and change.

  17. Nipper said, on July 16, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    I once heckled Dave Kingman at a night game. Man in those days I was a loud mouth! Today I barely talk.

  18. zumiee said, on July 16, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    New York Yankees $ 197,962,289
    Philadelphia Phillies $ 174,538,938
    Boston Red Sox $ 173,186,617
    Los Angeles Angels $ 154,485,166
    Detroit Tigers $ 132,300,000
    Texas Rangers $ 120,510,974
    Miami Marlins $ 118,078,000
    San Francisco Giants $ 117,620,683
    St. Louis Cardinals $ 110,300,862
    Milwaukee Brewers $ 97,653,944
    Chicago White Sox $ 96,919,500
    Los Angeles Dodgers $ 95,143,575
    Minnesota Twins $ 94,085,000
    New York Mets $ 93,353,983
    Chicago Cubs $ 88,197,033
    Atlanta Braves $ 83,309,942
    Cincinnati Reds $ 82,203,616
    Seattle Mariners $ 81,978,100
    Baltimore Orioles $ 81,428,999
    Washington Nationals $ 81,336,143
    Cleveland Indians $ 78,430,300
    Colorado Rockies $ 78,069,571
    Toronto Blue Jays $ 75,489,200
    Arizona Diamondbacks $ 74,284,833
    Tampa Bay Rays $ 64,173,500
    Pittsburgh Pirates $ 63,431,999
    Kansas City Royals $ 60,916,225
    Houston Astros $ 60,651,000
    Oakland Athletics $ 55,372,500
    San Diego Padres $ 55,244,700

    • snarkk said, on July 16, 2012 at 1:03 pm

      I thought the SF payroll was around $130 million, that’s the number I always hear when the “budget” is discussed. Why the discrepancy — does the above number include all off-roster players still getting paid?…

      • chipower9 said, on July 16, 2012 at 1:08 pm

        Me too (and I posted to that effect above). Cot’s shows the Gigantes at 131 million and change.

      • chipower9 said, on July 16, 2012 at 1:09 pm

        The number from Cot’s includes players being paid but not on the team (Rowand, etc.).

      • zumiee said, on July 16, 2012 at 1:10 pm

        That chart is from the USA Today website. It doesn’t say how they got their numbers. And I just checked Cots, which has the Giants at $131 million. The USA Today must not be counting Rowand, is my guess. Sorry to post faulty numbers. ALL salaries should be included. The USA Today chart is basically worthless.

      • zumiee said, on July 16, 2012 at 1:11 pm

        Chi beat me to it. (grin)

  19. eddacker said, on July 16, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    now show the receipts for the teams and I’ll bet the SFGs rank higher than 8th

  20. snarkk said, on July 16, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    How can Detroit, in a city that is basically broke and has a flat-lined job base, afford a payroll higher than the Giants?…

    • unca_chuck said, on July 16, 2012 at 1:10 pm

      The cities don’t own the teams . . . it’s like being the richest man in TJ . . .

      Philly and Boston, 2 and 3 on the list, both currently last in their respective divisions, must be proud of their charges out there on the field.

      • snarkk said, on July 16, 2012 at 1:15 pm

        Detroit is 10th in attendance this season at 89% of capacity. I can’t imagine that the TV and radio and ancillary income is bigger than the Giants, given the size and population of the metro areas. But, there’s a lotta money in pizzas, and an old owner who will spend on a Prince to win the pennant again…

    • Alleykat said, on July 16, 2012 at 1:21 pm

      Cause their owner is that billionare who owns all the fuckin.Domino chains,and probably gives fatso’s like Fielder a few chains just to sign.

  21. chipower9 said, on July 16, 2012 at 1:12 pm

    Here’s the numbers from Cot’s…

    • zumiee said, on July 16, 2012 at 1:18 pm


  22. chipower9 said, on July 16, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    KC Royals – 64 million…AND they INCREASED payroll by 63% this year. First place Pirates – 51 mil. Interesting stuff what certain teams can (and cannot) do with some coin.

  23. Alleykat said, on July 16, 2012 at 1:29 pm

    Twins are a total shit org.right now.Their farm system sucks with talents.Giants could stock a few.prospects(not Brown) and see what it might take to get Denard Span.Perfect Lead Off Hitter.

  24. eddacker said, on July 16, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    Team Current Value ($mil) 1-Yr Value Change (%) Debt/Value (%) Revenue ($mil) Operating Income ($mil)
    New York Yankees 1,850 9 2 439 10
    Boston Red Sox 1,000 10 24 310 25.4
    Chicago Cubs 879 14 66 266 28.1
    Philadelphia Phillies 723 19 24 249 -11.6
    Texas Rangers 674 20 55 233 15.3
    Los Angeles Dodgers 1,400 75 41 230 1.2
    San Francisco Giants 643 14 16 230 8.8
    Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim 656 18 3 226 -1.2
    New York Mets 719 -4 69 225 -40.8
    Chicago White Sox 600 14 7 214 10.7

    formatting sucks but this is as of March ranked by revenue Giants tie for 7th and in 10th place for current value
    they had an increase of value of 16% from last year which equates to 18.3M more to spend on top of the 131M
    the whole sortable list is here:

    • DJLoo said, on July 16, 2012 at 2:32 pm

      $18.3 million more to spend or to keep as profit? Who’s to say?

    • chipower9 said, on July 16, 2012 at 2:45 pm

      Well, I don’t think you will see payroll increase, significantly (it already has over the past couple of years).

      Anyway…good stuff, Ed…thanks for sharing.

      Also, I stumbled across this poem from back in 2010. It was written by a Bob Stanley who lectures at Sacramento State University.

      Ode to the Rotation

      San Francisco has long been an up and down crew
      with good years and bad years, champions few
      but we’ve hung there beside them through thin and through thick
      through Candy and earthquake and old Candlestick
      and Mays and McCovey, and Barry and Kent.
      So close were the Giants, it left our hearts spent,
      but hope springs eternal’s a cliché that ruts
      the roads of the hearts of all true baseball nuts.
      This year’s no exception, a year we can claim
      as one of the great ones, a season aflame
      with the fire of pleasure (but not without pain)
      thanks to Lincecum, Bumgarner, Sanchez and Cain.

      We started out slow and we started out weak
      though Andre and Aubrey played close to their peak
      and then Freddy got hot, and when Buster arrived
      there was joy at the ballpark whose name’s so contrived,
      then the Giants of twenty-ten gave it a whirl
      when they signed up that local-born slugger named Burrell
      and a defensive move (not on field, but front office)
      brought one secret weapon whose name’s Cody Ross’s
      and just when it looked like the prospects were bleak
      there’d be one of them: Panda, or Travis, would seek
      out a fastball and drive to the wall
      a run-scoring double to thrill one and all
      and we’d score, yes, one run, maybe two; it was tough
      but amazing; more often than not, ’twas enough!
      And that was because of the masterful game
      of the quartet of starters who deserve all the fame:
      Lincecum, Bumgarner, Sanchez and Cain.

      Now Wilson, the closer, is a man to be feared
      no matter what color his pirated beard,
      but he can’t close the door if there’s nothing to close
      (a rose is a rose is a rose is a rose).

      They are young, they are four, they are cool and they’re hot,
      dealing strikeouts and groundouts and walks (not a lot).
      When September was dealt, and turned up all four Aces
      in North California we raised up our faces –
      from Gilroy to Redding we watched during lunches
      while “Boche” in the dugout was pulling no punches:
      a righty, a lefty; repeat, and his hunches
      took the team to the playoffs and then to the Series,
      this pastime was leaving us slightly delirious.
      So give credit where credit is due, for the nation
      is now taking note of our vaunted rotation –
      We edged out the Padres, we took out the Braves,
      we knocked off the powerful Phillies, approaching like waves,
      And perhaps we should thank both religion and science
      Brian Sabean sure, also God graced the Giants
      with all of this talented youth on the mound. Is it vain
      to think this year is just the beginning? Long may they reign:
      Brothers Lincecum, Bumgarner, Sanchez and Cain.

      • unca_chuck said, on July 16, 2012 at 3:00 pm

        As this season rolls on, with this team we hold dear
        Let’s raise high, to Vogie, a glass of cold beer . . .

  25. chipower9 said, on July 16, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    I’m ready for another (World Series Pennant if San Francisco)!

  26. twinfan1 said, on July 16, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    Maybe someone will take my next day, too. Not bowing out, just can’t do it now. Thanks.

    • eddacker said, on July 17, 2012 at 1:36 am

      I though you were going to be Sundays?

  27. blade3colorado said, on July 16, 2012 at 3:35 pm

    Curious about how the the $142 million man playing this evening in Bean town will do.

  28. unca_chuck said, on July 16, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    You aren’t scheduled to post for 10 days, Mike.

    • twinfan1 said, on July 16, 2012 at 4:39 pm

      I’m aware of when I’m scheduled, Chuck. I can’t do it.

      • twinfan1 said, on July 16, 2012 at 4:46 pm

        Good thread, BTW. The great hecklers have gone the way of the Catskill comics, though. Dead or dying.

  29. twinfan1 said, on July 16, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    Jesus Howie Christ- just turned on the KC game to watch 5- 0 Seatlle, no outs, 1st inning, 2 HR off Dirrrty..

    • blade3colorado said, on July 16, 2012 at 5:30 pm

      Yeah, I was expecting a better performance from him, in lieu of the fact that he gave up one run over five innings in his return from the disabled list (left biceps tendinitis) June 13 against Milwaukee. Even his manager said, “His strike-to-ball ratio (60 strikes, 41 balls) was better and his command was better,” manager Ned Yost told the team’s website. “He kept us in the game. It was something to build upon.” I feel bad for Dirrrrty.

      • DJLoo said, on July 16, 2012 at 5:33 pm

        Where’s dad?

      • twinfan1 said, on July 16, 2012 at 5:49 pm

        On the other hand, Casper Wells is 2-2 HR ,Triple 5 the 2nd inning

      • twinfan1 said, on July 16, 2012 at 5:53 pm

        “Where’s dad?”
        He’s renting himself out. I think he has Hector Noesi’s next start..

      • twinfan1 said, on July 16, 2012 at 5:56 pm

        Even when he struggled here, he was still “missing bats”. No more.

  30. Flavor said, on July 16, 2012 at 5:48 pm

    Loo’s guy (Casper Wells) has 5 RBI’s off Dirrrty already and it’s still only the 2nd inning.

  31. Flavor said, on July 16, 2012 at 5:59 pm

    I wonder if Melky’s success has impacted Dirrrty’s starts this year. Everyone knows the KC fans feel like they gave away another star player, I bet he’s heard it from the fans all year and it’s probably worn on him pretty good. I can’t think of anything else that would explain this spectacular collapse……

    • snarkk said, on July 16, 2012 at 6:04 pm

      Maybe, uh, he’s not very good?…

      • Flavor said, on July 16, 2012 at 6:08 pm

        No, it’s not that. He’s displayed a fantastic skill set, he’s good. At least he has been good. This collapse is in the same ballpark as Lincecum’s, in my opinion, just on a smaller scale……
        Here are the possibilities:
        drug/alcohol problem
        hidden injury
        mental problem
        I can’t think of anything else that would cause this type of epic, across the board failure. But if any of you have any theories, by all means, toss them out there……

      • blade3colorado said, on July 16, 2012 at 6:14 pm

        As Flav said, he had a “fantastic skill set.” In 2010, he had 13 winds, 3.07 ERA and 205 strikeouts. At one time, he also had an MLB-best 6.6 hits per nine innings. His problem was walks/control.

      • snarkk said, on July 16, 2012 at 6:24 pm

        How can you say he’s good with his performance with KC so far? He WAS good at one point with SF, and HAD even higher potential. But, Sabes traded him because the Giants obviously concluded that Dirrrty’s success train was not arriving. Tired of waiting for Godot. Timmeh has a great skill set, but he has been horrid this year. So, in the sense of the present, Sanchez is the same — he really isn’t good…

      • Flavor said, on July 16, 2012 at 6:35 pm

        I said he has a fantastic skill set, not that he’s good. He’s been good. But you don’t lead the league in swing thru’s and not have a great skill set. Personally, I think he got too into the whole “never giving in” thing. He doesn’t care if he walks you. It’s served him well at times but the hitters figured it out and now they just let his wicked stuff go harmlessly by. He should have made adjustments, that’s what the league is all about…..

    • blade3colorado said, on July 16, 2012 at 6:07 pm

      Not making excuses for him, but he not only battled biceps tendinitis this year, but also missed all of last July with the injury. Regardless, his control disappeared on him long before then.

  32. zumie said, on July 16, 2012 at 6:11 pm

    Tonight is a good time for the Phillies to start turning their season around. (grin)

  33. twinfan1 said, on July 16, 2012 at 6:34 pm

    Until Mid-June last year he was the Dirtty we saw in 2010, or close to it…then he went South with his June 18 start, had one more awful outing, then went on the DL. He’s been awful ever since. I really have no idea what is but when a guy goes bad and when it happened can be identified, I’d sure have pitching sleuths watch that game’s video over and over.

    • Flavor said, on July 16, 2012 at 6:40 pm

      as I said above, I think that it might have something to do with his very public declaration that he never gives in and doesn’t care if he walks hitters. The hitters are obviously just letting his wicked stuff go harmlessly by and he’s constantly in a 3-1 count. No one can win that way. He should have made adjustments to that approach but he never did…….

    • twinfan1 said, on July 16, 2012 at 6:45 pm

      I don’t think the theory holds water when he’s getting people out before June 18, 2011 but not since.

      • Flavor said, on July 16, 2012 at 7:01 pm

        I think he got more into the *never give in* thing as his career wore on. He didn’t start talking publicly about not giving a shit about walking hitters until last off season. If you think about it, if you don’t have very good control, saying you “never give in” is going to be a predictable excuse. Whatever, his struggles are probably the result of many things, just like with Tim….

      • twinfan1 said, on July 16, 2012 at 7:14 pm

        No doubt. But whatever the problem(s) might originally have been, he’s in total denial now .Last quotes I saw from him were two starts ago and he said he was throwing fine, he was just unlucky.

      • twinfan1 said, on July 16, 2012 at 7:23 pm

        Yost got a standing O when he pulled Sanchez, BTW.

      • Flavor said, on July 16, 2012 at 7:25 pm

        well, you can’t blame the Royals fans. They’re bitter about losing Melky and they’ve had to tolerate the worst of the worst that Dirrrrty’s ever shown at the big league level. Lincecum has been CY this year compared to Dirrrrrty’s year…….

      • twinfan1 said, on July 16, 2012 at 7:27 pm

        I didn’t blame them, just noted what happened.

  34. unca_chuck said, on July 16, 2012 at 6:40 pm

    The majors is littered with semi-successful lefties. Shawn Estes had his 19-5 year. Atlee Hammaker had his all star year. There’s only 1,458 others. Tantalizing talent that in the end was derailed by the vagaries that seem to only affect southpaws.

    • zumiee said, on July 16, 2012 at 6:47 pm

      Speaking of lefties…..I recently got the book “Lefty,” a new biography of Lefty Gomez. It will be a nice book to read as a companion to the DiMaggio book; because they were actually companions, roommates on the road with the Yankees for a few years together. Gomez helped “sophisticate” Joe to being a sports star in NY City.

    • twinfan1 said, on July 16, 2012 at 6:48 pm

      Baseball is “littered” with semi-successful RHers as well.

  35. zumiee said, on July 16, 2012 at 6:54 pm

    The Clemente book intrigued me about Puerto Rico, and MLB players that came from there. The list is huge and distinguished. Wikipedia has a big list. I’d forgotten the Molina brothers came from P.R. Some of the names just kind of jump out at you. For instance, Candy Maldonado. Too bad he’s remembered for some playoff flubs, rather than being pivotal to getting the Giants to the playoffs in the first place.

  36. DJLoo said, on July 16, 2012 at 6:56 pm

    The secret’s out on Casper. The price just went way up…

    • twinfan1 said, on July 16, 2012 at 7:02 pm

      Doesn’t happen that way.

    • Flavor said, on July 16, 2012 at 7:03 pm

      I was waiting for this post…..

    • blade3colorado said, on July 16, 2012 at 7:06 pm


      • unca_chuck said, on July 16, 2012 at 7:31 pm

        The ghost to the post. Everyone’s talking about it.

  37. zumiee said, on July 16, 2012 at 7:02 pm

    Of all the Latin American countries, only the Dominican Republic has produced more major leaguers than Puerto Rico.
    Bernie Williams and Carlos Beltran are two more Puerto Rican major leaguers on the list.

  38. Bozo said, on July 16, 2012 at 7:05 pm

    “I can’t think of anything else that would cause this type of epic, across the board failure. But if any of you have any theories, by all means, toss them out there……”

    Zito gave him Paris Hilton’s phone number?

    • blade3colorado said, on July 16, 2012 at 7:06 pm

      Or Madonna’s

  39. zumiee said, on July 16, 2012 at 7:08 pm

    Jonathan Sanchez……..Puerto Rican!

    • unca_chuck said, on July 16, 2012 at 7:29 pm

      Found a new toy, didja?

      • eddacker said, on July 17, 2012 at 1:40 am


  40. twinfan1 said, on July 16, 2012 at 7:45 pm

    Well, goodnght. I understand that many may not but I feel bad about Jonathan. Even with some of the remarks he’s made that reflect poorly on him, that could be a case of being tired about hearing the same thing over and over. I don’t know that, but it’s happened with other players. It seems extremely unlikely in his case, but I’d love to see him turn it around- if he even gets the chance.

  41. Alleykat said, on July 16, 2012 at 8:02 pm

    Jonthan Sanchez is just the ultimate headcase that Giants management finally figured out.Any pitcher that constanly throws 100.pitches through 4-5 innings,not only wears on the team standing around and picking their noses,the other team grinds as well and both teams feel like they played a frickin Double Header when he’s so fucking wild out there.

    • twinfan1 said, on July 16, 2012 at 8:09 pm

      Too bad they didn’t figure it out in 2010, eh?

  42. snarkk said, on July 16, 2012 at 8:16 pm

    Re: POTD, I’m trying to imagine Buddy Hackett as a heckler. He’d be a little tangential, and surely crass, but funny. Rickles would be a natural, maybe too over the top…

  43. willedav said, on July 16, 2012 at 8:22 pm

    Zum, I’ll echo Twin’s comments last night about Clemente, a very exciting guy to watch. Excellent fielder, great arm, superb line drive hitter. Somewhere early in the book he talks about making an adjustment based on playing home games at old Forbes Field. I guess the HOF guys just have the talent to make those kinds of adjustments and the Rowands of the world just don’t.
    And actually, Melk reminds me a little bit of Clemente….his HRs are line shot rockets that barely clear the height of the LF fence at ATT. I think someone made the comment that if it didn’t go over the wall, it might have gone through it.
    I saw Jason Kidd play at the Coliseum when he was with Jersey. I took a friend of mine’s HS kid who was playing for Lowell of SF, and we had pretty good seats. These two guys next to us were making stripper jokes about the Warrior girls, and one of them told us as we left in the 4th Q (Ws blew them out) he was gonna try and get close enough to courtside to throw some dollar bills to them.

  44. blade3colorado said, on July 16, 2012 at 8:23 pm

    Frickin’ idiot Axford blew the save against the Cards, thus the win for me (I have Fiers who had pitched a shutout thru 7 innings). Pfffffffffffft! ‘Nite all.

    • Flavor said, on July 16, 2012 at 8:30 pm

      I watched that inning, it was a bunch of dinky dunky bullshit. It’s been happening to Ax all year. He’s walking more than usual but the hits off him are dinky bullshit.

      • blade3colorado said, on July 16, 2012 at 8:35 pm

        I don’t have MLB ticket, so I had to go through the drip, drip, drip water torture of ESPN Launchcast . . . Ugh.

        Y Molina flied out to center.
        K Loe relieved J Axford.
        A Craig singled to left, S Schumaker scored, M Holliday to second.
        M Holliday singled to right, M Carpenter and R Furcal scored, S Schumaker to second.
        S Schumaker walked, M Carpenter to third, R Furcal to second.
        R Furcal reached on infield single to third, M Carpenter to second.
        C Beltran flied out to right.
        L Berkman flied out to center.
        L Berkman hit for D Descalso.
        M Carpenter walked.
        J Axford relieved F Rodriguez.

      • Flavor said, on July 16, 2012 at 8:41 pm

        well watching it, as opposed to reading it, is more enlightening. He wasn’t that bad. The hits were nothing, they were bouncing balls through the infield. He’s getting behind hitters, that’s his major problem. His shit is electric, he can’t seem to really harness it the way he did last year.
        Regardless, his blown saves are now putting his job in jeopardy. Casilla has been total and complete money compared to Ax this year…..

      • blade3colorado said, on July 16, 2012 at 8:45 pm

        Yeah, the key seemed to be Schumaker, i.e., he fell behind and eventually walked him. Ax should have buried him.

  45. zumie said, on July 16, 2012 at 8:38 pm

    Ryan Howard seems chunkier than I remember him being. He did hit a homerun tonight, though.

    • Flavor said, on July 16, 2012 at 8:43 pm

      it’s hard to work out when you’ve had a bat attached to your shoulder since October 25th, 2010. 🙂

      • DJLoo said, on July 16, 2012 at 8:54 pm

        Why don’t you give yourself a POTD there, Flav?
        Although I did have a good laugh from Twin’s 5:53…

  46. unca_chuck said, on July 16, 2012 at 8:39 pm

    Philly up 3-0 on the dogs. Top of 6 . . .

  47. DJLoo said, on July 16, 2012 at 8:45 pm

    3 superstars injured tonight – Votto out a month and J. Bautista & D. Ortiz injured as well. Could impact the trade market depending on the severity.

    • DJLoo said, on July 16, 2012 at 8:46 pm

      Did I just give any of you a fantasy heart attack?

      • blade3colorado said, on July 16, 2012 at 8:51 pm

        Votto belongs to Giant Head – No impact because GH is in last or next to last.

        Ortiz belongs to Chuck – Again, Chuck is rudderless in 8th place, so no biggie.

        Bautista – HEHEHE . . . I smell pussy!

    • blade3colorado said, on July 16, 2012 at 8:48 pm

      Frazier will get more playing time with Votto out (Dusty is delusional and has been playing the has-been Rolen, when he should have Frazier in there full time). With Ortiz out, the Red Sox at least have Crawford back and get Pedroia back Thursday. With Bautista out, that means the Flap Pussies are hurting and the Bladerunners have an opening . . . 🙂

  48. willedav said, on July 16, 2012 at 9:00 pm

    Red sox are an epic novel that could get written every year. Last year you had the collapse and the Yanks pulling all their starters in the last game, followed by the clubhouse controversy and turnover. This year bobby v vs. the world, mega injuries, youk (traded for not much and sox paying part of the way) and his fan base crying I told he wasn’t done, and highly paid under performing guys alongside feel good stories like the kid middlebrooks….
    And with all that payroll they could easily be at home watching the playoffs again, while the hated Yanks dominate the division. Almost (but not quite) feel sorry for their passionate if highly disillusioned fans. How could a team like that get their asses handed to them by the A’s out here?

  49. tedspe said, on July 16, 2012 at 9:12 pm

    Fuck, first chance I had to see the Flap today. This is one of the funniest threads ever and hilarious setup, chuck.
    Youse guys……youse all cracks me up

  50. tedspe said, on July 16, 2012 at 9:21 pm

    Let’s get retro:

  51. zumie said, on July 16, 2012 at 10:01 pm

    And….the Giants ahead 3 in the loss column to the Dodgers!

    • zumiee said, on July 16, 2012 at 10:04 pm

      The Philly D got a little shaky, but they held on for the win.

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