THE San Francisco Giants Blog

Haters Gonna Hate

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on April 6, 2015

I can’t remember which rapper said that. Maybe it was all of them. But before our season gets underway there are a few things I want to get off my chest. And it has to do with the haters. Specifically, three kinds….:

1) The fans (non Giant). Mostly, they do their hatin’ on the internet. It’s one of the great failings of the internet–people get to say whatever they want nearly without consequence. It took me a while to develop the right mindset to deal with these numbskulls but I feel like I am much better equip to deal with them now than I was 6 or 7 years ago. I can thank my spam filter for that.

If you’re a non-Giants fan, your hate started with Barry Bonds. And I get that. His pompous march toward the HR crown had non-Giant baseball fans worldwide doing a slow burn. So by the time 2010 rolled around there was no way you were going to believe in this team. Three World Series wins later, I can only imagine how slow that burn must be now. And A’s fans have it the worst. This in all unfolding in their backyard. They’re almost forced to watch it. And look where they’re watching it from!    Let me ask you something Giants fans: If I told you that when you attend a game at AT&T Park, the Coke bottle would randomly fire off human shit fireworks in between innings all over the crowd, would that make you more likely or less likely to go to the game? Because that’s basically what’s going on over at O.Co. Human shit spews and oozes all over that place. It’s like Old Faithful gone horribly wrong. At AT&T we enjoy garlic fries and a tasty Sheboygan. At O.Co the vendors are literally selling frozen shitcicles in the stands. Those sound positively awful. I’m not paying 8 bucks for that. If I ever went to an A’s game I ‘d be sure to wear me galoshes and construction goggles. Throw in the fact that they haven’t won a world series in a quarter century and you can see how easily the haters be hatin’ in Shitland (I mean *Oakland*).

The next group of Haters are the writers. Somewhere along the way, writers decided that their job was to predict what was going to happen. And because they get paid to write, they are probably pretty good at writing. Too bad that’s where their skill set ends. Again, I think a lot of the hate goes back to Bonds and the way he treated them. And to that point, I can understand it. But you’re a professional and are being paid to perform sans bias. It’s too bad the national media continues to fail at this.

The final group of haters are the analysts. The former players who get paid to babble into a microphone. These guys are arguably the worst of the 3. Whenever a former player barks into a mic “Listen, I played the game…” I know I’m about to be registered in a class I had no intention of taking. The fact that you *played the game* at the professional level means you understand certain nuances of the game better than i do. But it in no way legitimizes your predictions. These guys are wrong all the time. Guy like Erik Karros are so spectacularly wrong every time it amazes me that they have the balls to keep churning out their drivel publicly.

Now haters, I’m going to warn you in advance. Look away. Avert your eyes. Staring too long at what I’m about to show you could cause “Hater Blindness”. On a side note, I’d like to meet the dipshit that stared so long at the sun he finally went blind. Who does this? Who stares at the sun so long they actually go blind? Anyway…behold:


These are the 3 main reasons that the haters gonna hate. And the best part (for us) is that these 3 reasons will never go away. We might never win another one again. Unlikely, but possible. Through whatever the future holds for the Giants and their fans, these 3 beauties will sustain us. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some knowing dude head nods to prepare for that I’ll  be doling out later today……


145 Responses

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  1. snarkk said, on April 6, 2015 at 11:17 pm

    Cain getting elbow MRI for forearm tightness after his last start. Uh oh.
    Looks like they may bring up a minor leaguer about 3 months sooner than I thought…

  2. snarkk said, on April 6, 2015 at 11:27 pm

    Boy, on the highlights, Romo grooved that one for Lamb. Hit me fastball knee high outside part of the plate. Let’s not throw that one again anytime soon.
    Pagan — nice to have him playing again. Adds the energy. Just not sure how batting 3rd will work for him, he’s not your prototypical 3rd hole guy.
    Roberto Kelly already with a botched stop sign to Aoki…

  3. Macdog said, on April 6, 2015 at 11:45 pm

    “The Giants either will move up Tim Lincecum to take Cain’s turn on Wednesday or call up a minor leaguer, with right-hander Chris Heston the top candidate.” Given Timmy’s history vs. Goldy, I’d take my chances with Heston.

  4. snarkk said, on April 6, 2015 at 11:55 pm

    I’m not going to linger over saying good bye to Lon. Not his way, that’s for sure, to blubber all over him.
    Suffice to say I will miss him mightily, or just the thought of him being around to jump into the
    Giants booth to say a barbed joke or two. As Chuck said, he was with the Niners a long time, in several stints, and with the A’s for almost as long as the Giants, on full time comparison. But, funny, as a huge Giants fan more than Niners I just always thought of him as a Giants icon, the guy that helped get me into being a Giants fan as a kid, and helped me through, more than anyone, the hell of being a Giants fan in some of worst wilderness years of the late 70s. His one season teamed with Al Michaels in ’76 may have been the best one season of baseball radio bcasts I’ve ever heard. Maybe I’m waxing too nostalgic, but they were awesome together, and had to be, because the Giants sucked, as usual (74-88). Never was more fun heard in the Giants booth than from those two pros. “What a story it would be” if the Giants could win the World Series. Now, look what happened. Lon, I will miss you…

    • zumiee said, on April 7, 2015 at 12:09 am

      It’s interesting to think of that. During the bad seasons, what we were enjoying were the radio broadcasts of the games, as opposed to just the games themselves. Lon was such an entertaining broadcaster.

      • snarkk said, on April 7, 2015 at 12:29 am

        Exactly, zum. Baseball’s laconic pace lends itself to favor bcasters who can tell a story, not just tell you what just happened. Lon was good at the storytelling, no question about it. If you can keep a fan listening when the game sucks or is out of hand, then you’re a good sportscaster…

    • 10Boo said, on April 7, 2015 at 7:17 am

      With all due respect to Lon, Greenwald was the best during lost cause seasons.

      • snarkk said, on April 7, 2015 at 11:44 pm

        Due respect to Hank, he couldn’t hold Lon’s mike…

  5. zumiee said, on April 7, 2015 at 12:19 am

    I’ve been reading some back issues of National Geographic that I’ve fallen behind on. In the February 2015 issue, there are a lot of great articles, including one about mites. Rob Dunn’s article is pretty interesting, and kind of disturbing. Biology is a trip.
    He are some excerpts from his article about mites:

    “They are so small that a dozen of them could dance on the head of a pin. They are more likely, though, to dance on your face, which they do at night when they mate, before crawling back into your follicles by day to eat. In those caves mother mites give birth to a few relatively large mite-shaped eggs. The eggs hatch, and then, like all mites, the babies go through molts in which they shed their external skeleton and emerge slightly larger. Once they’re full size, their entire adult life lasts only a few weeks. Death comes at the precise moment when the mites, lacking an anus, fill up with feces, die, and decompose on your head.”

    “Mites are specialists that occupy every conceivable niche, including the trachea of bees, the shafts of feathers, the anuses of turtles, the stink glands of bugs, the digestive systems of sea urchins, the lungs of snakes, the fat of pigeons, the eyeballs of fruit bats, the fur around vampire bat penises. Living in these habitats necessitates special hairs, chemicals, foot pads, mouthparts, and tricks.”

    “Yet the marvels of mite transport pale in comparison with the idiosyncrasies of mite reproduction. Some clone themselves. Others eat their mothers. Others mate with their sisters while still inside their mothers and then, during birth, kill their mothers. In the nostrils of hummingbirds and the ears of moths lurk Greek tragedies of small, strange lives.”

  6. DJLoo said, on April 7, 2015 at 4:17 am

    Thanks for the pleasant breakfast reading, Zumite…

  7. Flavor said, on April 7, 2015 at 5:52 am

    nuevo hilo

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