A Place To Talk About Giants Baseball

As usual, there are going to be bullshit thunderstorms back east to threaten The Donger’s encore. Hopefully we squeeze this game in.

So I now have 2 reasons to keep watching games this season:

1. to root for them to avoid 100 losses
2. to see what The Donger will do next

Feel free to list off reasons you still watch (or if you don’t, why you stopped) in the comments below.

This fucking guy…

The thing that pisses me off most about the Giants is how they manage call ups. Ryder Jones is a classic *guy* in the system. The best he could hope for is to one day be a runner on a street corner for The Bowker Gang. That’s it. And yet he got the call before “no more yanky my wanky.”

How do you keep this guy down for so long? In a lost season that was brought on by many stupid management decisions, they leave this great South Korean hero to twist aimlessly in the Sacramento winds; to wilt, wallow….nearly fade away.

Da Donger need food. Feed him.

The Donger need food. We need win. Let’s make both happen.

Hanging another L on the Rockies would be sweet, a team and a fan base I don’t like. Is this their yearly fade job? Probably too early to call that since they still have a few months of back and forth to Sherpa Town. But the wear and tear on the bodies has begun. They are finding themselves weaker, slower, more susceptible to injury, fatigue, and general malaise…..

The Giants? They blew past injury, fatigue and general malaise a month ago. Now they are squarely in “We hate everyone and go fuck yourself” mode. Maybe The Donger can do something about that, too…..

I don’t care how lost this season is, a win feels good. The “We Hate You” rally cry went out and it did not go unanswered. Angel Pagan. Mark Melancon. Doesn’t matter. The Giants hate all motherfuckers and that includes you Nolan Arenado and DJ Le-shitiue.

The new goal for this season is obvious: Don’t lose 100 games. I can’t imagine a Giants fan who wants to see another 100 *lost* season unless you think if this ship totally tanks and people stop going to the yard big changes will be coming.

I went to high school with Whit Crane. Played baseball together in Little League. Good dude. He and his band UKJ had a couple of hits way back when and they’re still pretty popular in Europe. I dedicate this song to the rest of our season:

Dirt’s 9:18pm post from last night confirmed what we had suspected: this team is sleepwalking through the rest of the season. And it’s still only June! The Mets came into our house and waxed us clean. THE METS. The team that came into SF 10 games under .500. The team that just got swept by the Dodgers in 4 games losing 36 to 11. The team that is so desperate for a positive vibe that they promoted shitty Tim Tebow and his .222 batting average to HIGH A BALL.

I get tired of hearing about ballpark factors. The Mets out-homered us 7-1. So I guess the ballpark factors only effect OUR players? Nonsense.

The Giants better wake up fast. They still have to play THREE MONTHS of baseball! Colorado is going to come in tonight locked and loaded. At some point pride should factor into how you play and how you conduct yourself as a professional.

Sorry, but Dirt being too despondent to even eat a Cha Cha bowl pissed me off…..

Bochy’s only 10 games over .500 in his career right now (probably as of yesterday, given BBR’s lag time). He should hang it up now.

….I didn’t know this. Wow. When you talk about your legacy in the game this absolutely comes into play. And there really isn’t anywhere for Bochy to go other than to trudge onward. What’s he gonna do, tuck and roll out of this season before he dips under .500? And he can’t possibly think the Giants are going to play over .500 ball between now and the next season or two, can he?

Who knows, maybe he doesn’t care.

But I bet he does…..

It’s amazing how less irritating this team is if you don’t watch the game. Last night was just a warm summer breeze blowing through my life. Today I’ll watch because I enjoy watching deGrom pitch and we still have a lot invested in Cueto NOT imploding this year. If he can just continue to cobble together decent starts and stay healthy we will get something for him in a trade. He’s going to opt out so any team that gets him will look at him as a rental, but if we got the potential that a *Zach Wheeler* once had I would take that. We need young bodies. The team that is currently assembled has gotten slow, old and weak.

Fast.

One thing we learned about this season: rally tupperware does not work. My understanding is that the Giants landed in SFO around 5am this morning. My guess is that they will not be peaked tonight vs the Mets.

Has Bryan Morris been DFA’d yet?

Is Matt Cain still a trusted #5?

Big news on the Stix front. Our shackled Flap friend has got a plea deal in place with the government. Sentence still unknown. Big thanks to XOOT for staying on top of this and keeping us informed.

Why not, couldn’t hurt. Here is San Diggity’s cake saver tupperware purchased by his mom circa 1975:

It has a majestic, almost regal look to it. To say they don’t make tupperware like this anymore would be a ghastly understatement.

As you can see, there is a Marichal card in the picture. This caused initial confusion and even a little bit of internal pandemonium as I didn’t understand the connection to the tupperware. Why was it there? How did it get there? What could it mean? I questioned him on the card’s inclusion, if it was affixed, etc… Here is a snippet of that exchange:

After he eased my concerns about the inclusion of the card I went back to admiring the tupperware as well as the card with the bad ass Candlestick Park chain link fence in the background.

And then Matt Kemp walked us off….

Please send all of your best tupperware pics to bigflavor77@gmail.com. It’s gonna be a “tupperware” kind of season…..

It was nice to get a win last night. Nearly forgot what that was. I admit to getting a little envious of all the Dodgers young talent. Did you see those last 2 bombs Seager hit? Off the bat they just looked like pop ups to the opposite field. You have to have enormous power to get balls hit oppo at night at Dodger Stadium to go out. He and Bellinger are literally just flipping balls out of the yard. It’s irritating.

According to Yahoo Sports right now, Bochy is being very irresponsible with Smarge…

I gave it a few chuckles to watch Derek Law implode last night on the same day we furiously debated the differences between the hot women of today vs their aged counterparts from the 50s/60s. I noted that the ladies back then didn’t work out regularly or eat right. My biggest complaint about That Doughy Fuck? That he doesn’t work out regularly or eat right. Law needs to work harder. He’s not working as a fry cook at the local Mickey D’s he’s a goddamn major leaguer. Start preparing like one.

The chuckling at Casa de Flavor continued when the Belt slide was upheld in replay. It is absurd that we are using replay to call guys out who barely come off the bag during a pop up slide but in this case Belt DOESN’T come off the bag and they STILL CALL HIM OUT. I don’t care how many replays New York has that we didn’t see. There is an extremely clear replay of Belt sliding into second base with his right knee hitting the bag and never coming off the bag. This is irrefutable. It amazes me how stupid my fellow humans can be sometimes……

Speaking of doing dumb shit, isn’t our favorite shackled Flapper due in court soon?

Kevin Durant’s mom this morning on twitter trying to reset her twitter password:

….and the (s)hits just keep on coming…..

Well, we covered a lot yesterday afternoon but I’ll go to blows over who’s hotter, the “Jena Sims” of today or the women who trolled around Arnie in the 50’s. Sorry, but it is not even arguable who exercised and ate better, women of today or women from back int he 50s/60s/70s. That alone ends that debate. And I don’t want to hear about the one-off Marilyn Monroe or freaking Linda Carter or whoever. Sorry. Women today are hotter than ever and it’s because they work out maniacally and don’t eat.

And now we head to Atlanta to watch Dickey dance balls around. Any team should pound this guy but I’m guessing we show up slow and sloppy and don’t get around to hitting until the game is over…….

If we don’t win a game soon this race with the Padres is going to start losing some of it’s luster. They’ve scooted two and a half games in front of us. With only the Phillies behind us in either league I’m running out of fake races to manufacture to hold my interest in this baseball season.

US Open today.

The final score of these games in this god forsaken nonsensical place has been relatively close but I expect that to end today. There is no reasonable theory that Matt Cain WON’T get blasted today. I’m guessing the 20 runs scored against us has Bochy seeing double anyway and this feels like a give-a-way game.

There are 2 explanations for why Pence has looked incompetent in right field and the one where he’s pussy whipped himself into a frenzied pretzel has been the prevailing one. But it’s also possible he’s still hurt. He’s playing the outfield like it’s the first time he’s ever been out there. It hasn’t just been a game or two, it’s been since he came back.  If he’s hurt I guess I appreciate him running out there and trying to play but at this point it might be time to stop soldiering through this wasted season and let one of the young honky’s get their shot……

I didn’t see that comeback but only losing by 1 at Coors is almost like a win. That’s one other thing I forgot yesterday: at least the Giants aren’t giving up. They lost Nunie AND Buster in the same inning and still came back from a big deficit to make the game close. Watching that is certainly better than watching a team just go through the motions.

My A’s fan buddy was texting me maniacally about the A’s calling up some new 3rd baseman who supposedly is fantastic at defense with 30 bomb potential. Made him sound like Matt Williams. He lathered himself up into a froth over this guy. I don’t get it. Baseball seasons are too long, as well as off seasons, to keep abdicating seasons one after the other. After winning 3 in 5 all I want is to win another one. It’s very tough to muster the “oh boy look at our prospects, wait till next year!” philosophy. But who knows, if we had any prospects maybe I’d get exciting about them.

Pffftttttt….. blown out 15-3 by a team that isn’t very good in our own park. I’m guessing a trip to Coors with Nibblin’ Matty is not the cure for this disease. How are the Rockies only -141 today? I would put them at -250, easily.

At this point in the season, we have to shift the focus for why we watch the games. Offense is obviously preferred but don’t hold your breath for that. I guess the bats could get going in Coors but they could just as easily stay silent. New honky’s could start coming up through the pipeline and that might be interesting but as long as the old honky’s stay healthy enough to play I don’t see too many young honky’s getting a chance. I guess we’ll see.

Warriors parade today. Not going. But looking forward to seeing some of it. That’s gotta offer more moments than getting blown out again in Colorado.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t make it through that game. After years of being competitive and in the thick of the race, it’s hard to get jazzed up about sitting down for 2-3 hours and watching a game that doesn’t really matter. I love baseball so that keeps me going for a bit but when you add in that it’s not very interesting baseball and….I dunno. Hard to rally for it.

Cueto day game. He is easily our best trade piece as long as he’s pitching well. The money he’s owed if he DOESN’T opt out is not an issue. Go take a look at the type of pitchers who get 80 million dollar deals (Mile Leake and Wei-Yin Chen are 2 guys who come to mind) and you’ll see that the rest of Cueto’s deal is not an issue. He’s nearly guaranteed to opt out where he will get MORE than 80 million. He will be looked at like a short term rental the same way Carlos Beltran was when we traded our top pitching prospect for him.

Quietly, I hit #10 last night. I didn’t realize it till I was going to bed and I started counting them up. Five Niners. Three Giants. Two Dubs. You can quibble with the number but I don’t count championships that were won before I was born and I don’t count the one in ’75 because I wasn’t following the team back then. Too young, wasn’t watching basketball, didn’t even know it had happened.

But these 10? These count. I earned them FOREVER. I’ll go browse around for some gear today but I doubt I’ll find anything. I can’t stand the designs of today’s sportswear. The letters are too big and loopy, the colors too gaudy. I’m not wearing a shirt with some dude’s face plastered all over the front. Nope, I’ll just wear my “City” tee shirt today that I bought about 15 years ago. It’s got holes in it. Proud holes.

We were gifted another championship last night and I don’t take these for granted. The Royals are in town tonight. Another sound reminder of MY ten.

Day off today after pummeling that 50th rounder and his buddies into the ground. Dyson is getting a lot of slack on twitter because of the 2 errors but he shouldn’t. Dyson sucks, this was a completely stupid move. Texas gave him away for nothing and he looked overwhelmed and scared out there. *Skinny Rick Reuschel.* That’s gold. I see it.

Big day for the draft and our pick is at 19. I’d like to see us draft an OF with our first pick and draft an OF with every subsequent pick. Can you imagine how bummed you would be if you are an OF and the freaking Giants draft you? You immediately know your career is over before it starts. The cold reality that you suck is inescapable…..

Pulling away from the Padres. Now 1.5 games clear of them. Keep up the pressure! We got this!!!!

New marketing idea for the Giants: Considering Aaron Judge’s mammoth HR went 495 feet and that still wouldn’t have hit the glove at AT&T Park, how about this idea: if any player, Giant or opponent, hits the glove ON THE FLY every ticket holder in the park gets $1000. It’s never happened before so their risk would be small and they could buy insurance to cover the payout if they want. It might keep fans going to the park for something other than losing and usually boring baseball.

The 2017 Death Train rolls on but wait! An unexpected detour? What’s this? We are NOT in last place anymore? I haven’t checked in a few days but I see we have steamrolled .5 games ahead of the Padres. I don’t know how you pull yourself out of last place when you lose almost every day but apparently we accomplished the feat.

The Twins are sending out someone named *Nik Turley* and besides the fact that he’s a dude who spells his first name like some shithead Kardashian I feel like a shutdown may be on the horizon for our boys draped in cream. Here are the things Turley has going for him v The Giants today: 1) he sucks 2) he was once a 50th round pick 3) he was once in our organization. All 3 of those things will likely result him him twirling a quality start, maybe better than that.

Warriors on Monday feels a long way away right now…..

I saw exactly zero innings of the game last night so I can’t really comment on what happened. The box score looks unkind. If you think a regular guy like Santana shutting us out is bad wait till you get a load of the stuff Berrios has. Bendy shit for days.

Belmont Stakes day so I’ll see you guys later this afternoon…..

I’ll get right to the point: I am tired of Matt Moore’s nibbly bullshit. Challenge your opponents, man. I don’t know if this has anything to do with his weird, volatile year, but can someone explain to me why he keeps throwing so many cutters? It would seem to me that if you are looking for answers this could be a good place to start:

All of a sudden 25.5% of your pitchers are cutters? How’s that working for you? Maybe that’s not the pitch for you?

Minnesota is one of those crooked teams who look on paper like they stink but then you look at their record and they beat you and none of it adds up.

Nunie *Revenge Game* Day!

Beloved Dubs easing some of the misery of this 2017 baseball season. I respect Lebron’s talent but I don’t like him, Cleveland or the Cav fans. LeFlop literally faked his own death right on the court last night and you don’t usually get that type of comedy in such a big game.  The KD dagger was epic and I loved what he said in the immediate post game interview: “I’ve been practicing that shot my whole life.” I kinda hope the Warriors lose tomorrow just so they can take down the crown in front of the home town crowd. Three World Series championships and an NBA championship in the bank since 2010 and not one of them went down in the Bay Area. Can we ever get one of these to go down at home?????

Now back to reality. Johnny Showcase Day! Manage your blisters, pitch well, I’ll give you a knowing dude head nod on your way to New York or Boston…..

The Giants traded for the heir to Strickland’s dumbass throne and the Rangers were happy to oblige. Teams don’t give up on relievers this early in the season if they are any good. Dyson throws hard, or at least he used to. His FB velocity is down the last couple of months and that screams one of two things: either he’s got a mechanical flaw or he’s about to fall victim to TJ surgery. I’ll guess it’s probably the latter. Does this look like a healthy pattern to you?

Rate of fastballs thrown at 95+ miles per hour

2014: 80%
2015: 84%
2016: 77%
2017: 48%

Whatever, it’ll give the Giants free reign to dump Strickland who is too dumb to pitch for this storied franchise.

Blach today. Don’t like young guys who are coming off a complete game with a high (highest this year) pitch count. But Blach has surprised me all year, maybe today too? I don’t think so, he’s gonna get blasted. lqtm.

If you are an optimistic person, last night was a good night for you. At least when it comes to the Giants, I don’t know if the rest of your night was good based on your disposition. If Smarge can keep this going we should be able to hold on to the slightest whisper of hope through the Summer. 59K’s to 1 walk is almost unbelievable.

If you missed the Calixte throw, you need to go see it. That was a historic throw in the annals of bad throws. He fired towards the plate and after tailing off to the right like it hit wind sheer from a 747 the ball landed somewhere near Calixte, Mexico–that old, dusty town you buzz through on the way to Puerta Vallarta for mas Bohemias. That line never gets old to me.

I give Bochy a lot of shit, nearly all of which he deserves. But that move to pull Calixte back and bat Hill was a good one. Calixte is clueless man, he was sauntering up to the plate and didn’t even know Bochy had called him back. Whatever. And look, we need guys like Hill on the team. Not to play every day but to provide a little punch off the bench. He roped that ball down the line. Calixte might have hit the catcher with a swing or some shit.

It’s Matt Cain Day! Why do I always feel a little nervous on Matt Cain Day?

As I was watching Matt Moore throw pitches like his left hand was on fire I wondered how this could be the same pitcher who nearly no hit the Dodgers last year and who confidently handed the ball to our bullpen last October 11th leading 5-2. Where have all the K’s gone? Where has his confidence gone? When he’s off he literally has no idea where the ball is going—a lot like Tim Lincecum post *salad days*.  At this point I’d trade Moore BACK to Tampa for Duffy just to let him sit on our bench and not fuck shit up.

Even with Moore’s ineptitude we still had a very good shot to win that game until That Doughy Fuck climbed the mound. The Giants have too many land mines (that they plant themselves) to dodge throughout games to win consistently.

Milwaukee doesn’t seem like the place to sort all this nonsense out…..

Our battle for last place with San Diego continues to rivet and amaze. You can’t shine a flashlight between us. Two dynasties, battling to the wire.

At least we aren’t getting no-hit. That’s the worst, isn’t it? How did Volquez shut down that Snake offense? I didn’t see that coming.

In other news, Pujols hit #600 and he did it in *grand* fashion. Finally Arte is getting something for his money. He only owes him another 114 million….

Warriors tonight. After the underwhelming Hellickson shuts us down, NBA will be a nice pick me up.

We scored 10 runs in a band box but I’m not sure if we hit a ball that even hit an outfield wall. Maybe Span’s double? I don’t think any of our scoring hits hit the wall. Definitely didn’t go over it. So that’s actually a good sign: we are weak and not a home run threat but we do persevere and find a way to score and win. 🙂

The Phillies play like a team that’s quit. They make dumb decisions and show almost no outward passion on the field. I didn’t see a single Philly hustle. When the lazy ball that Panik hit in the 9th fell in front of Kendrick you could hear the exasperation of the few fans who were still at the game. We might stink but I haven’t seen any signs that the Giants are fraying or that they aren’t trying their best.

To me, it didn’t look like the Phillies were trying their best last night.

So, “phatten” up on them. I’m mad at the incompetence of the front office and still can’t get over the fact that EVERY SINGLE TEAM IN THE GIANTS ORGANIZATION IS IN LAST PLACE but goddamn it I still want to win and last night was a lot of fun.

Tonight we go against some guy named “Ben Lively” and that name sounds a little bit made up….

After an epic beat down that the Dubs dropped on The LeFlops last night we now turn to an epic let down that is the San Francisco Giants. I know The Phillies haven’t been good this year but you know what’s good for a bad team? The Giants. I’m actually looking forward to being back in another bandbox to see if the Cinny trip (where we were outscored 31 to freaking 5) was an aberration or if our offense really is that bad no matter the park they play in.

Philadelphia has a bunch of hitters I like who are under-performing. You know Tommy Joseph wants to go off. I really like their lead off hitter Hernandez and Freddy Galvis who bats down the order— 2 fast guys who can give them a “Billy Ham Light” effect. Their entire team is slow to start this season, just like the Giants, but they are young and I hold out more hope for them coming around than the aged and underwhelming group Bochy will trot out today. Belt should like hitting here and a bomb or two tonight would go a long way to us keeping pace with this fellow last place team.

Anyone else tired of hearing Steve Kerr stories about him coming back to coach in the playoffs? Enough already. He can’t do it and frankly will just be a distraction if he does come back. Interim coaches seem to do pretty well with this team and their amazing interim record can certainly call into question just how much Steve Kerr does in the first place.

What’d we score in that series? 4 runs? Beating up on Old Man Dickey was fun but when faced with legitimate mlb competition we wilted quickly. Now we travel back east to be the antidote for what ails the Phillies. And then Milwaukee for what promises to be several bowling pin celebrations at home plate for the Brewers.

It’s going to be interesting to see if Evans and Sabean can or will sell off at the break. The Giants don’t have a lot of movable pieces—either the player sucks and is unmovable or the player makes too much money and is unmovable. I assume Sabean will get some shit offers coming his way that he will decline because he doesn’t think the value is there. But I’d rather him look at the value of a salary dump and not worry about player talent he gets in return.

Shed salary and go hire legitimate major league hitters on the open market. Nothing else is going to fix this embarrassment of an offense.