The Honger Blasts The Donger
Just did a quick check of the spring training stats and I don’t want to overreact but my dude, The Donger, is hitting .333 and that would be good for 4th place in last year’s batting title race, only 15 points off the crowned champion…..
So let’s get to know this near-batting title holder. He’s 29 and hails from Seoul, South Korea which is a preferred place because it was Hawkeye and Trapper’s favorite weekend landing spot to unwind from the horrors of the front line back in the day. So there’s that.
But my even more favorite thing is that he’s finally started to consistently mash the ball out of the park. He hit 52 home runs over the last 2 seasons and I have no idea where that ranks in South Korean lore but it was a huge jump from the 4-7-12 he posted the previous 3 seasons. So ring the bell, it’s go-time.
He also bat flips like a motherfucker but that part of his game has been muzzled by the boring ass traditionalists of mlb. However, you can’t fully take the bat-flip out of a true bat flipper so I am hoping we see that bad boy fly high into the sky at some point this season…..
So to recap: he’s got the best nickname on the team, he’s a goddamn near batting title champion, his power is exploding and if I was GM I’d reacquire The Duffman just so I could trade his ass AGAIN for another stud pitcher and hand the 3rd base job to The Donger YESTERDAY.
The spring optimism is off the charts at The Flap today….
I found this ball in a box this morning. It’s feeling more and more like spring today.