THE San Francisco Giants Blog

We Suck

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on August 19, 2018

Can you imagine how many beers Harvey pounded last night to celebrate his 5th quality start as a Red? Man, I bet he was slammin’ them. And San Dawg will be slammin’ them, on me, next time I see him in Reno.

Today Brandon Belt is leading off. Why not? That’s actually something I’ve wanted to see for a long time now. Unfortunately, Belt walking a couple of times will do little for the overall production of the offense.

It’s funny to listen to the KNBR talking heads try to make sense of all of this. They seem at a loss why the Giants can’t beat the Reds. The Miami Marlins castoff announcer kept talking about the Reds being better since they fired their manager—that happened in April, lol. All of this is nonsense. We have a better record than 4 teams in the NL. Basically, we are one of those 4 teams. That is the reality that nobody at KNBR wants to talk about.

Here ya go, Dirt. How’d today’s haul stack up to yours? Sun golds, early girls, tie dyes, lemon boys, we got ’em all here at Casa de Flavor.

Screenshot 2018-08-19 at 9.32.31 AM


Judgement Day

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on August 18, 2018

And so, it has come to today. Of course it has come to today. Ar some point I was going to have to face Matt Harvey head on and account for the near constant crap I threw his way. Today is that day.

The two things I complain about more than anything, the Giants inability to hit AND the fact that Matt Harvey sucks, collide together today in spectacular fashion.

I guess I could take San Dawg’s generous buyout offer. Buying him beers for a day and walking around for 4 hours with that ridiculous TOOMGIS mug wouldn’t kill me. Of course, buying him beers for a weekend with my dignity still intact probably wouldn’t slay me, either…….

But nay! I won’t succumb to the lows of being nothing more than a common Buyout Bunko Artist. Matt Harvey may cost me some money but he’ll never cost me my dignity. I will watch the game and root for my team to pound Harvey harder than any beers he may have pounded last night; a tall request, indeed….

Hey, it’s also Pacific Classic day down at the old Del Mar and while I won’t be there this year I’ll be watching every race and celebrating every outcome because today is not about Matt Harvey’s glacial ascent to 5 quality starts this season. It’s about this being a salad day and that’s more important than yesterday and certainly more important than tomorrow. I’ll be in the moment today and loving every minute of it…..


More Bad Luck

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on August 17, 2018

It is absolutely uncanny how none of our bad players ever get hurt. Turns out there’s an injury from the scrum? Oh really? Who was it? Casey Kelly? Hunter Pence? No, sorry, it was your ROY candidate, the best player to come out of this letdown season. D-Rod. Of COURSE it was D-Rod.

The only thing that could save the season for me, in terms of maintaining interest, would be if we traded for Matt Harvey and had him pitch against the Reds. That would be an old school move that never happens anymore. And really, though Harvey’s game has become rather staid, I’d certainly prefer seeing him jog out there than a guy like Casey freaking Kelly or someone from The Social Media Gang.

Also, if we traded for Harvey we’d probably need to cancel the Matt Harvey bet due to some type of contingency. We’d need to read the fine print of the bet, eh Dawg?

The Dodgers Suck

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on August 16, 2018

Not sure what qualifies this Casey Kelly dude to be on the team. As far as I can tell, it’s because he’s pitched a lot of innings in Sacramento. He was at 130 this year, by far the most of anyone else down there. But whatever, apparently he’s more reliable than That Doughy Fuck or any of his other social media friends….

Despite the loss that was a fun series and for a team that is out of it that’s about all you can hope for this time of year…

As has been discussed, Matt Harvey needs only one more QS to get to 5 (during his time as a Red). San Dawg offered me this buyout bet last night:

sandog said, on August 15, 2018 at 8:43 pm (Edit)

That half inning sucked, but this buyout offer I will allow Flav to present me is awesome:

-You only need to cover my beer tab for the Saturday in Reno
-Lunch on you at the Top Deck Diner at Cal Neva
-You carry around my Toomgis coffee mug for 4 consecutive hours on Saturday. You can’t explain that you are
doing it because you bought out a bet. You just have to act like that’s the way you roll. (Feel free to fill it with
the beverage of your choice.)


It was an amusing offer and I appreciate the time he took to put it together. Of course, Big Flavor has never and will never succumb to the shame of having to offer a buyout bet to anyone. If I ever did, it would be, as you know, in the form of a powerpoint presentation. This was not. Thus…..summarily rejected.

It would be much more sensible for Diggity to offer the buyout bet. It was something I would have considered had it been presented in my preferred medium of appraisal. Sadly, the window of time that I would have considered such an offer has closed. It shall never reopen.

The mug I would have to carry around Reno for 4 hours:

Screenshot 2018-08-16 at 4.04.00 PM

Slappy Win

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on August 15, 2018

Is there anything better than a game that makes Puig look like a little slappy bitch? I’m assuming the interest in acquiring his bitch-ass has gone down a bit? I hope?

I missed most of this game, one of our cats got hit in the eye by a snake and I had to take him to the ER. On the way down there he ripped straight through the cat carry case I had him in. That was an interesting ride and visit, let me tell you.

Carson is a big boy, I bet the snake took the worst of that tangle…

Screenshot 2018-08-15 at 5.38.35 AM

Anyway, you guys saw it. That was a game designed to embolden a team and a fan base. From that standpoint I couldn’t appreciate Slap(uig) any more!!!!!

POTG is a tie: Hanson, Suarez and Hundley who is going down as one of my favorite Giant catchers of all time.

Rooster Coop Quiet, Empty

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on August 14, 2018

The only thing that sucks about last night is that the Nick Hundley hit had a chance to rank right up there with the Brian Johnson bomb (well, below it but up there) but with our dire place in the standings it’s just a nice win against a team we all hate. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Fun win.

Also wasted this year: Nick Hundley. This guy has been so important to so many wins this year. He’s the type of grizzled vet Bochy loves and he’s been the back up catcher we’ve literally never had. It’s just too bad we aren’t going to get to see some magical moments from him in the post season.


ROY Freebie

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on August 13, 2018

If I told you that the only thing you could take from this season was the surprise of Dereck Rodriguez, would that be enough for you? I’m not talking about one of these *Stratton/Suarez* fliers that work out a little and then fall apart, I’m talking about a legit ace of the staff. A free ace can’t be understated.

We’re still screwed going forward because one or two aces isn’t gonna get ‘er done. After him and Bum we just have a bunch of guys (assuming Smargerine is done and we don’t see Cueto till 2020).

That’s the problem with building a staff. Nobody wants to give out the big 5 year deals anymore and I get that. But it’s not like there are any low hanging fruit freebies like D-Rod out there.

And then there is the unpleasant thought that maybe Rodriguez is a mirage. That this will all flitter away into a warm summer breeze and never be seen again…

Fixing this mess is going to require a lot of luck. How many times does a lotto winner hit the lotto? D-Rod could be it and then nothing but a bunch of losing tickets thereafter….

Is He Busted?

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on August 12, 2018

San Dawg and other Buster apologists, you might want to avert your eyes from today’s post…

What he said:

djloo27 said, on August 11, 2018 at 8:46 pm (Edit)

Fun fact:
Buster has not homered this summer.
I have him at 157 PAs.

What I said:

Flavor said, on August 11, 2018 at 8:48 pm (Edit)

he’s ridiculous. Tomorrow I’m gonna look up his second halfs over the last few years. Without looking I bet he doesn’t have 10 home runs in the second halfs of the last 3 seasons (including this one)

And of course I was right. He has 5 (FIVE) bombs in the second halves of the last 3 seasons. In order to get to 10 you need to add the 2015 second half too when he had 5. That is 10 bombs in the second half of 4 straight seasons and that is pathetic and absurd. If that isn’t a direct sign of this guy’s decline I don’t know what is.

It is stupid to keep playing him at catcher. It’s only gonna get worse from here.

Winning by a Field Goal

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on August 11, 2018

I was surprised they were able to blast off against that triple A pitcher. Usually guys like that shut us down easily.

I was out last night and missed the game. Apparently there was an issue with Crick? Will we be seeing some beanball payback today?

Weaklings In A Man’s World

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on August 10, 2018

Freese homered. Bell homered. Diaz homered. These are not home run hitters. The Giants can try to cobble together all the fringe-OPS guys they can, if they can’t hit the ball out of the park they will continue to be one of the worst teams in major league baseball.

Other teams hit home runs at AT&T. I always wonder what Sabean thinks when he sees ball from opponents getting rocketed out of the yard. And then our guys try to get walks, hit the ball the other way and hopefully get the coveted “good at bat” from Kruk regardless of the outcome.

I am so tired of having a team that can’t hit the fucking baseball every single fucking year…..


I received this from PaulinAsia this morning. He and Blade having lunch in Saigon. Flap Nation represent.

Screenshot 2018-08-10 at 6.18.44 AM

Pirates in Town

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on August 9, 2018

New thread time. Sorry it took so long to get it posted. I kept thinking to myself “you’ve forgotten something, what was it? Did you leave the stove on? The front door unlocked?” And then, boom, it hit me.

I see Suarez getting back on the beam tonight. He’s been ragged lately but he’s back at home and Pitt is coming out of Nepal, always a good bet against hitters in the first game off the mountain….

Nova sucks so I’m sure he’ll shut us down easily….

With An Eye to Next Season

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on August 8, 2018

Did a slow burn last night listening to Bochy use the “they’ve got good pitching” argument to defend our pathetic output vs the Astros. You’re in the big leagues, buddy. Who cares how good their pitching is. How good is your hitting? Look in the mirror Boch and stop making excuses for our limp bats.

I’m going to try to stay positive though and even though I ended the season on August 2nd we can rank the players who have surprised us in a good way with an eye to next season.

#1: D-Rod. He’s obviously locked into this spot

#2:  This one is gonna be a tie between Morota and Will Smith. Both surprised me in a good way and both will be critical cogs next season.

#3: Suarez. With all the pub Beede and his idiot new bride got a guy like Suarez flew under the radar. He’s been getting hammered lately but I am hoping he’s just a little worn out and that he’ll take another step next year.

#4: Derek Holland. He’s been very reliable and flexible in terms of how we use him. Not sure where we’d be without him but we’d have several less wins I know that for sure.

#5: Gorkhead. I’ll put him in here just because his power surge came out of nowhere but this guy has been pretty lame since June and he shouldn’t take starts away from Slater who should be playing every day.

#6: Stratton (who sucks) but the surprise is that he’s still the team leader in wins (by 2 over Blach). That’s pathetic in its own right but it’s still a surprise worthy of making this list.

#7: Alen Hanson. Just because he came out of nowhere and he’s been the energy boost this team has lacked for literally years. I’d wave bye bye to Panik next season and let this guy play.

#8: Ray Black. He’s been a surprise for sure but I’m not counting on him going forward. This guy is going to get hurt again, probably soon, so we shouldn’t get our hopes up with him.

Who’d I miss? Any quibbles with my rankings?

I’ve always wondered what happened to this rad fur coat. Apparently it’s in the 49er museum. Here’s Jerry wearing it recently…

Screenshot 2018-08-08 at 10.35.03 AM

The Bigger Problem is the Same Problem

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on August 7, 2018

Tough loss and while that one is obviously on Will Smith I’m not sweating him for a second. He’s been our best reliever this year and a very reliable closer. I recognize that’s off a pretty small sample size. But look, we scored 1 run, these guys aren’t machines. Smith finally gave up a home run this year. Our offense FUCKING SUCKS. AGAIN! How is it possible to have a shit offense EVERY SINGLE YEAR!?!!??!?!

We don’t need to ever go out and buy another closer again. Develop them from within or get them young and give them a chance to succeed. It’s not like closer is top on our list these days, anyway. As usual, we need players WHO CAN HIT. The Giants have been burned by the money they threw at Benitez and then Melatonin. I’m calling it right now: We will never see them pay big bucks for a closer again. Nor should they.

Agree with James at the end of the last thread. Walks are important. Appreciated him adding “they only look like the pussy way out when you don’t have a good offense.” That’s actually one of the reasons I’ve been arguing against Belt on this team. He’s fine for another team. He’s wasted with us. As is anyone else coaxing walks and getting on base only to be stranded at first base by their those following who break the fellowship and make outs.

OPS has sort of become the most obvious thing to look at when considering your team’s offensive output. The other day I noted we have a better record than only 4 (shit) team in the NL: The Reds, the Mets, the Marlins and the Padres. Guess the only teams we out-OPS in the NL? The Mets, the Marlins and the Padres. Only the Reds are above us and they play in a bandbox so that’s understandable.

Finally, here is the list of teams at the bottom of total home runs. Shocker. The Reds, pathetically, are 10th:

Screenshot 2018-08-07 at 7.20.58 AM

We can’t hit. We can never hit.

Slightly Better Than The Worst

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on August 6, 2018

When I was a kid I checked the standings every morning. There were only 4 divisions back then but I had every team’s record memorized and their place in the standings. These days, I don’t check too often. Maybe once a week. I don’t know why, maybe they just gotten diluted with the wild card races. They just aren’t as interesting, or straight forward, as back in the day…..

Anyway, this morning I was surprised to see that the Giants have a better record than only four teams in the ENTIRE National League: Mets, Marlins, Reds and Padres—the absolute dregs of the NL. And that’s funny to me because KNBR spends nearly all of their SF coverage talking about the Giants post season chances and that they’re still in this, they just have to go on a run, thank God they won Sunday’s game, etc….

The Giants would have to leapfrog seven (7!) teams to win the second wild card spot.


We should send McCutchen to Pittsburgh for future considerations and then send Longoria and Shaw to the Yankees (maybe they bite if we throw in Shaw and they really do need a 3rd baseman. Possibly give them Watson, too)……And we should do all of this TODAY.

Turning The Page on The Season

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on August 5, 2018

Look, the D-backs have some hitters on that team. The Escobar pick up will turn out to be huge for them. The fact that they’ve been blasting our tentative young pitching all over their yard (and outside of it) is hardly a surprise.

The Giants have simply run out of….something. Gas. Mojo. Players. Whatever you want to call it. If they had a healthy Cueto and Smarge pitching the last two games it may have been a different story. Maybe not. We’ll never know.

It would be cool to see the Pirates claim Cutch and see what kind of boost he could give them. He would certainly do more for that town than the one he’s playing in. It’s time to bring up all the kids and if all these injuries keep chipping away at the base there’s a decent chance Bochy will grit his teeth and play these guys.


Everything Sucks (Except that Pic)

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on August 4, 2018

Posey took another shot to the head and now the rest of his season is in doubt. Secretly, his hip is probably happy about this. The idea of keeping Buster behind the dish for the rest of his career is just absurd and maybe this latest injury will wake up everyone involved.

Bochy claimed Stratton’s stuff was good, he was just lacking confidence. If I sucked I’d lack confidence, too.

The injuries suffered this year seem worse than I can ever remember. It’s a miracle we’re still on the right side of .500.

Keenland story is probably better told in the comment section, not the main thread……

From the Flapalooza that just happened in NY:

San Dawg and lovely daughter, Loo and Mac

Screenshot 2018-08-04 at 4.28.24 PM



Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on August 3, 2018

I don’t attend fancy shows but I’m enjoying San Dawg’s updates from New York…

Four in a row and the light will definitely be kept on for us…..

Stratton’s back! Let’s see how elite that spin rate is….

The Reason The Giants Have Absolutely No Chance This Year: And Sabean Knows It

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on August 2, 2018

The answer lies in the dreaded topic of *innings pitched*. I hate that topic. If I was the Baseball Czar the number of innings you throw (and pitches you pitch) should be determined by your competitive fire and how badly you want to finish a game you started. It’s too late, we can’t go back to the old days. These puss arms have been de-volved and devalued for the last 20 years by pitch counts that go all the way back to little league. Do you know that little league score boards now have pitch counts on them? Ludicrous. In 1980 when Palo Club was busy winning the city championship, we had TWO starting pitchers: Me and Steve Johnson. That’s it. We went 19-1 that year. There were certainly no pitch counts and I honestly don’t even remember relievers. The one game we lost Steve was sick and Kendall Simmons had to start… I’m still doing a slow burn about that.

Anyway, fast forward to THIS year. I already noted D-Rod’s inning numbers yesterday but here’s the recap:

2016: 132

2017: 143

2018: 116 and counting….

Now Andrew Suarez:

2016: 143

2017: 155

2018: 123

Finally, Chris Stratton:

2016: 156

2017: 138

2018: 109

I’m not gonna look at Bum or Holland, they’re vets and wouldn’t get monitored like these young guys. But even if we went on this *run* that Longo called for, even if we started winning a bushel of games because Sabes said “we started playing best the longest* and kept that going….We are still stuck with 3 guys, 60% of the starting rotation, who are going to get shutdown sometime in September.

How the hell would we be able to finish off the month and then storm October with these 3 guys icing their arms on the bench?

So right now, despite the nonsense the team may spew, I am effectively ending 2018 right now. We have no chance. It is over…..


With An Eye To Next Season

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on August 1, 2018

D-Rod has been a revelation and you’d have a hard time arguing otherwise if you watched him pepper the corners of the strike zone yesterday. He’ll fill in nicely for Cueto next year. I’m not sure how much more to expect out of him this season. In 2016 he threw 132 innings, 2017 he tossed 143, this year he’s up to 116. What’s he got? Five or 6 more starts in him? Probably guaranteed to be shut down by mid September.

Longo is just as bad as Sabean saying “We got two tough wins here. We just need to go on a little run.” I know he has to say stuff like that after a game but SF was ALL OUT to beat the Pads. The worst team in the NL. When you are “just enough to win” over the worst team that should tell you something about your team.

After doing nothing at the deadline and seeing the writing on the wall for the team this year it makes zero sense to play Pence even one more inning this season. Let Belt heal as usual on the DL. Bring Shaw up. Let’s go, it’s time to take a look at the young kids. Bochy needs to grit his teeth and just do this…….


Trade Deadline Humor

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 31, 2018

I woke up to this headline at mlbtraderumors…

Screenshot 2018-07-31 at 7.01.40 AM


Woo, that was a good one. Spilled my coffee. Out my nose….

Hey let’s go BIG and throw in Melatonin with ‘Cutch and maybe snag Harper….

Day ball today. May the light from the Masterpiece guide our way to another victory….


Rock And A Hard Place and a 1990 Memory

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 30, 2018

I wouldn’t want to be Sabean or Evans right now. There isn’t a trade out there that could possibly get this team to start playing above .500 regularly. And they don’t have the bullets to fire anyway. They should be sellers but they can’t trade Bum because they think the fanbase would revolt. They’re probably looking at trying to get a guy like Dozier who would be a classic pick up for SF but he’s not going to move the needle enough to make a difference.

Here’s what’s going to happen: nothing is going to happen.

Watching Newcomb lose his no hitter with 2 outs in the 9th reminded me of 1990. I was in my mom’s kitchen on Tennyson Ave in Palo Alto making a triple decker salami sando listening to Scotty Garrelts try to close out his no no vs the Reds. With 2 outs someone (Eric Davis maybe?) lined a clean hit into the outfield and that was it. I screamed out *motherfuck!!!!!!!* and slumped to the ground. Got up. Ate my sando.

Slip Sliding Away

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 29, 2018
Flavor said, on July 28, 2018 at 5:11 pm (Edit)

I feel like that’s a lu that will produce like 3 hits

See, that’s what I get for being such a doomer. The Giants were like “Fuck you, Flavor” and then promptly banged out 4 hits…..

Not much to say other than….Xoot, great post last night. I fast tracked that bad boy to the Flap Hall of Fame. #68. There will now be a mad scramble among Flappers to see who will get the coveted #69 HOF post. I don’t send too many posts the way of the HOF. There’s really no criteria I just have to read it and say to myself “wow, that was great.” Anyway, it’s easily the best part of this blog, I go there every few months and re-read all of them. I encourage all of you to do the same. If you put a gun to my head, I’d probably say #51, his last post that made it to the Hall, is my favorite……

The BBOTD–POTD(!) is also still worth a chuckle or two. Timeless.

And….We Suck

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 28, 2018

It’s not even August and I’m already tired of this team. Boring. Slow. Weak. The pitching is better than last season but the hitting feels like it’s settled into last year’s squad. We’ve been lulled into a mild sense of belief just because they haven’t been on pace to lose 98 games. But .500 ball is nearly as bad. They are more competitive than last year but there is just a huge gap between how they play the game and how the rest of baseball plays the game.

I had secretly hoped that The Masterpiece would have acted as “Rally! Masterpiece!” but who was I kidding? It’s a house where people went to die…..

It’s time to wave the white flag on this season. Feel free to join me, it’ll make watching this shit a lot easier to tolerate……

Season Slipping Away

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 27, 2018

Melatonin doing his best to put the season to sleep last night. The Giants really should be able to beat the Brewers. They’ve been playing over their head all season. And the fact the win went to that stupid fucking racist bitch Hader made the loss that much harder to swallow.

MadBum tonight. Again, this is a good spot for him. Will his command continue to elude him?

Who Would You Target?

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 26, 2018

The Brewers have the second most wins in the NL? Not sure what that says about the NL. I’m not that worried about Milwaukee and I think D-Rod will pitch well enough for us to win tonight. Of course, our hitters look tired and ineffective lately so that could be an issue.

Bill Laskey, who I usually don’t like because he spends most of his show covering for the completely incompetent Vida Blue, brought up a good question on the radio last night: Who would the Giants realistically go after at the trade deadline? They don’t have too many bullets to fire. And if they did fire them, who would they target? The bullpen has been very good this year. Same with the starting pitching. I guess you could go after an outfielder but they can’t even seem to get Slater on the field so that tells me they don’t really want to add on there.

Longo coming back, Panik too. Doesn’t it seem like even if the Giants had a bullet they’d be willing to fire they wouldn’t do it because they don’t have any holes they are desperate to fill?

Making Sense of Hunter Pence

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 25, 2018

After Pence crushed that hanging curve ball that ended up RIGHT in the center of the plate, I wondered what he would say about it after the game. He’s a humble, positive guy. So this wasn’t unexpected:

“It definitely felt good to get one because, you know, I’m feeling strong. I’m hitting a bunch of balls hard. It felt good to finally get one up in the air. I feel really good, I’m in a good spot now.”

Wow. One home run goes a long way to fueling his fire. But all pro athletes are like that. That’s why they all say “I just didn’t execute” when they lose. The belief they have in themselves has to be higher than the belief anyone else has in them.

How many HR’s does Pence have left in him? I’d say that’s the last one but who knows? Any major leaguer can hit a bomb if it’s placed on a tee. My gut says Buster will hit more than Pence the rest of the way just because he’ll have more chances. But would it blow your mind completely if Buster didn’t hit one the rest of the year?

Baseball in Seattle

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 24, 2018

Hate to have to move on from *The Masterpiece* thread but we do have a game today. I don’t like playing AL ball but we play who’s on the schedule so….

By the way, here is the trinket I uncovered yesterday during the excavation that’s going on at my house right now. As I said last night, the perfect place for this is hanging in San Dawg’s RV so that’s where it’s headed.

Autographed early Cinderella photo. I’m assuming this was 1985 or so and I have no recollection of getting the band to sign this but here it is 30+ years later….

Screenshot 2018-07-24 at 10.27.58 AM

The 8th Wonder…..

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 23, 2018

That was a weekend series we could easily have swept. I need something to take my mind off that…Hmmmmm….Oh I know, how about an exact replica of the Nightmare on Elm Street house made out of popsicle sticks?

Screenshot 2018-07-23 at 6.26.10 AM

And now one at night with the light on:

Screenshot 2018-07-23 at 6.26.30 AM

Our own DJLoo created this masterpiece. You would think he was inspired back in ’84 when the movie came out but you’d be wrong. He built this bitch in 2011. Claims it took 200-300 hours. It took Michelangelo 4 years to paint the Sistine Chapel. Sounds like good ol’ Mike coulda used some advice from Loo on time management.

Anyway, this is brilliant and it’s already taken my mind off the Giants losing the series to Oakland.

For those still in the Elm Street mood, here is Johnny Depp’s debut movie role. He died a horrific death inside the house you seem depicted above….

If any Flapper out there has built anything that tops Loo’s piece de resistence, please send it my way: I’m expecting my inbox to remain empty on this topic but I guess we’ll see……


He’s a Bum

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 22, 2018

At this point, even if the Giants wanted to trade Bumgarner, even if they sold a team mostly on trading for his post season mystique, there’s no way they get an offer that would make any sense. Bum has nearly 1600 innings on that 28 year old arm and that’s even with sitting out most of the last 2 seasons. It’s entirely possible we are just seeing him in decline (or worse, just about to snap off an injury).

I just pray we play out the next season without giving him a new deal. It would be disastrous to sign him to another contract….

The day we’ve all been waiting for is here! Win today and we tie the series and you know what a tie means>>>>> it means we fucking win baby, hell yeah! I want that trophy more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life and of course this .500 team is setting it up to take it down with a .500 record in the series…..

#mattharveyday #stillneedstwoqualitystarts #stilldrunk #neverhappening


Free Gold

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 21, 2018

D-Rod hadn’t thrown a pitch off a mound, in his life, until 2013. Trip out on that…..

As you know, that’s only a year before we won #3. And now he’s regularly dominating big league line ups. It is still inconceivable to me that the Twins just let this dude flitter off into the wind for nada. Every article I read about this just glosses over the question we all have: Why did the Twins let him go? The best answer I’ve found is that he was simply “blocked”. Respectful question, but by who?

Talking heads on KNBR were issuing caution saying “Remember Hesto Presto.” To me, that’s nonsense. Rodriguez has sick stuff, Hesto Presto had one lucky night. The obvious issue going forward is going to be number of innings of that arm.

If Bumgarner is going to anchor something, today would be a good day to start doing that….


Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 20, 2018

And now my flappin’ friends, we resume the exciting pursuit of the Break Even Trophy. I still can’t get over the tie breaker. Whoever wins last gets it. What are we teaching our kids with this silly rule? You don’t have to win the most, just make goddamn sure you win the last. If the series somehow ends 3-3 they should have one of those bridge workers laser cut a hole in the side of the bridge and weld that bitch in there until next season when hopefully sanity takes over and the trophy is awarded when one team wins the majority of the games in the season series…..

Hot take and I believe this gentleman sets Cove Chatter straight….

Forget Machado

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 19, 2018

The bottom line with LA picking up Machado is that it doesn’t effect the Giants much at all. SF just needs to worry about winning games consistently. If Machado slogs his way through the next 66 games or if he blasts the ball like Babe Ruth, it won’t matter if we all we do is toil around the .500 mark.

I think getting rid of Smargerine could be a big hidden add at the deadline. He’s hurt, he’s been hurt all year, it’s silly to keep trotting him out there and just praying for something that isn’t going to happen. I’m far more concerned about what the extra innings will mean for guys like Baby Pudge and Suarez. Cueto continues to be the tipping point for the season. If he’s gonna go the way of Smargerine and fade off into August we’re done no matter what Machado does in LA…..

Is Baseball Getting Boring?

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 18, 2018

Don’t get me wrong, I like home runs. But one of the best parts of a home run is how it can sneak up on you. There’s nothing more underwhelming than coming to expect a home run several times a game. Baseball has turned into a string of strikeouts and then whenever a dude puts the ball in the air, in play, it’s gone. What the hell is that?

When Barry played, I expected a home run. Every swing I expected a dong. But there were 8 other dudes mixed in there who would do something other than blast one out of the park. A triple is often more exciting than a home run. I love stolen bases. Double plays. Line drives that get snagged with the defender laid out horizontal to the earth.

Last night? Eh, I dunno. I was watching that and while Gennett certainly fueled some excitement into the game, the rest of them… just kinda cheapens the accomplishment when there are so many of them. It’s either strikeout or bomb.

I understand that’s how the game is played now. I just don’t think I like how the game is played now.

Biding Time Through The Break

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 17, 2018

I didn’t see any of the HR Derby. I wasn’t trying to miss it, just busy. Nice to see Bryce Harper finally get his World Series ring. Well, he celebrated like that’s what he won. I actually give big props to him for doing it. Bonds didn’t do it in SF. And all these guys who sit it out are a bunch of pussies. They’re afraid their swing will get messed up? Nonsense. They’re just lazy. You think all the guys who competed last night really thought their swing would be screwed up for the next 2 weeks? If so, why would they do it?

The only way I can find interest in the AS game tonight is with several line ups at draftkings so if you’re struggling like I am to find reasons to watch, there’s that….

Handed Our (Ass)letics

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 16, 2018

The thought of not having to look at that underwhelming trophy at AT&T has dulled the sting of losing 2 of 3 to The Men in White Shoes. In fact, I just heard that if the series is somehow split 3/3 after the next three in Oakland, the team that gets it is the team that wins the final game. Lol. That is the final nail in the coffin for me on this nonsense. Personally, I think they should go with Newman’s verdict.

The Giants looked like they needed a break and they got one. Breaks just keep going our way, eh?



Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 15, 2018

This guy Canha…I don’t like this guy. Did you catch his interview after the game? He apologizes for the bat flip and then 2 seconds pass and he takes the apology back. I could care less about bat flips but this was a double barreled moronic dispute he had with himself. As many have said on Twitter, it wasn’t the bat flip that he should apologize for it was the “This is my house!” that this now .143 career hitter at AT&T shouted to his teammates after his bomb. Kuip ended it well with this exchange with Kruk:

Anyway, I’d encourage you all to read Daniel’s thoughtful blog post today about Matheny’s firing. I’ve never been a fan, he’s always just seemed to me like a former player just standing around and spitting seeds and hoping for the best. The long, blank stares he directed toward the infield after the 2012 and 2014 NLCS deciding games were an outrageous sight to behold. Here’s the link:

Now, let’s see Croatia win one for the motherland and then we can be done with soccer for a while…..


Bay Area’s Team Wins Game 1

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 14, 2018

This picture is hilarious.

Screenshot 2018-07-14 at 6.44.40 AM

Why are both of these yoked out dudes trying to take a painful dump on the Bay Bridge? Actually it looks like the deuce might drop on their respective stadiums and in Oakland’s case, would they even notice? Baha.

Additionally, the trophy is invalidated by the “NBC” on it. That’s like when Papa John’s sponsors your little league team.

But whatever, I’m in. Gimmie another damn trophy. We’ll try to find some space for it at AT&T….

REALLY interesting game tonight. Brett Anderson sucks and Smargerine is looking to try to hang on to what little glory he may have left. This one could go either way…..

Time To Show Oakland Who’s Boss

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 13, 2018

I mean come on, Edwina Jackson? Can our luck get any better? This guy threw a no hitter and sucked. Take a look at that walk to SO ratio:

Look, we got Bum going against the journiest of journeymen. Take Game 1 and the momentum and sweep these chumps…..

#rootedinOakland? more like #strandedinOakland

.667 Ball

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 12, 2018

Taking 2 out of 3 from the Cubs was huge. All 3 games hung in the balance, all 3 games the Giants competed. You could quibble about the *competitive spirit* of their bats at times but what I saw was a team that competed, hard, against one of the best teams in the National League. Again, after losing 98 last year, I will take the effort and production we are getting this season.

I should be home later this afternoon. Looking forward to it.

Quiet Bats

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 11, 2018

If you were looking for offense, this isn’t the series for you. We scored 2 runs in 11 innings in Game 1. No runs, 3 for 28 in Game 2. Is Cueto for reals going today? I’m still out of town but am working my way back to California…..

Panda Power

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 10, 2018

Nice to see Diggity’s mea culpa on The Panda last night. More should follow his lead. Where would we be without The Panda or Hundley? Pence blasted that triple at the exact moment I was predicting a strikeout so that was mildly irritating. Got our hands full with their lefty today but I have a good feeling about tonight so let’s go.


Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 9, 2018

I can’t remember a more invisible signing than Austin Jackson. And then one July afternoon he just flittered away into a warm summer breeze, never to be seen again…..

He is going to pick it up in Texas. Dude needs the American League and the Rangers will use him the way he was supposed to be used: strictly vs left handed pitching. It’ll be interesting to see if Duggar’s defense will make up for his “actionless” bat…

Kyle Hendricks is pretty lost this year, let’s crush him…..


Ace Time

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 8, 2018

Kinda need the guy holding that ring on the right side of the blog to step up big time today. We’ll see if the bats can step up, too. Did you guys catch the afternoon scores? Red Sox 15, Nats 18, D-backs 20! Now that was some bat porn doing its thing. *bat porn*. Man, good ol’ Twinner woulda given it to me for that one, eh?

I got a long drive ahead of me today. Maybe the KNBR connection fades in at the right moment, we’ll see….

Saturday! (I Think)

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 7, 2018

Didn’t see the game but the box score looks nice. Panik’s hurt again? That’s not moving the needle for me–I never thought he was much. Smarge’s Launching Pad set to go off today. Remember WIlliam VanLaunchingpad? That was a great nickname.

Six teams in front of us in the wild card. Three in front of us in the division. We need a run at some point this year….

Tough Times

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 6, 2018

When an average pitcher like Luke Weaver is spinning a perfecto against you, at any point after like the 2nd inning, you got problems. I’m not completely down on the Cueto start. He did pitch very well in the minor leagues. I haven’t been able to see what his velo was in the rehab starts.

But come on, if this alternative approach to rehabbing his elbow doesn’t work, will anyone be surprised?

John Gant faces us tonight. They could pitch Ron Gant and probably get the same results.

Road Cookin’

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 5, 2018

Baggs had some incredible and depressing stats in his Athletic article today. We scored 3 runs at Coors. The previous low we’ve scored in a 3 game series there was 7. He also noted that, somehow, every Giants starter has a better OPS at home v the road. Think about that. They all hit better at AT&T than anywhere else. Except Longo, he’s got a higher road OPS. But he still isn’t swinging a bat so he’s not worth even discussing right now…

I’m deep in golf mode. If you want to find me I’m either playing Big Meadow or Glaze Meadow every day for the next week….


giants suck

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 4, 2018

5 hits, 6 hits….11 hits in 2 games at Coors Field? Max Muncy has hit 18 bombs in the last 46 days. This is what we get when Bochy runs Hunter Pence out there instead of a good Stanford man like Slater…

It is the 4th of July, probably the best day of the year. Go eat 40 hot dogs, slams some beers and maybe somehow, some way the Giants don’t suck for a day and win a game in Colorado….

I’m headed to Black Butte this morning.

Me And The Giants, Both On The Road

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 3, 2018

Tough one. A very winnable game that got away from us. Can’t win with only 5 hits in Nepal, though.

I’m headed up to Oregon today on a long and meandering trip up and down the west coast. I’ll have a laptop and will keep the threads humming.

Go Giants.

Colorado and Closers

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 2, 2018

I actually don’t mind going to Colorado as long as both the Giants and the Rockies are going there at the same time. When it’s the Rockies sitting there waiting for us, it’s more dangerous. Tonight both teams are coming to Sherpatown with a similar visual memory index. It’s a more even playing field. Again, if VMI interests you I encourage you to read about it here:

I have found it to be an invaluable tool to assist in helping build daily fantasy baseball teams…..

I have some thoughts on Melatonin. Actually, the closer role in general. I feel like the Giants have been screwing this up since they signed Armando Benitez back in 2004. The A’s do a lot of lame stuff but their approach to the closer is something SF really should pay attention to. As Melatonin was unable to finish a game with a 4 run lead I thought of this text that The Bone (my A’s fan buddy) sent me a couple of weeks ago:

Screenshot 2018-07-02 at 6.10.20 AM

In baseball, free agent signings are a huge risk because the players are locked up like servants for so many years before they can leave their original team. Money changes people, not to mention what all those years of playing BEFORE they get to their new team does to the body, the arm, etc. Paying a closer a fortune doesn’t make a lot of sense and is, in fact, kind of a lazy thing to do.

The Giants need to be more like the A’s when identifying stud closers. Draft them, develop them, trade for them if they’re young and controllable. But do not, ever again, sign one to big free agent money.

Pitching Rich of The Middle Class

Posted in Uncategorized by Flavor on July 1, 2018

With Smargerine and Cueto coming back soon, two guys gonna have to go. It’s a great problem to have. Neither vet can come back thinking they’re just sliding comfortably back into their rotation slot. If nothing else, that guarantees focus and effort. And look, none of these Fives are going anywhere. With the exception of Holland, they’re all young. And the best part: they proved they belong up here. If Smarge can’t recapture his magnificent strikeout to walk ratio the Giants aren’t going to keep running him out there every fifth day, there is too much at stake. Glory and destiny is still firmly within reach. And while we don’t have a bunch of Lincecum’s and Cain’s in their prime down on the farm we have multiple guys who can get the job done. In today’s game, I will take that….

I still don’t understand why Minnesota just cast Baby Pudge aside. Their pitching staff is painfully average and non-descript. They couldn’t use a guy like Rodriguez in the rotation? They just let him go for nothing? None of that makes a lick of sense to me unless the answer is, the Twins are just run by buffoons.