A Place To Talk About Giants Baseball

Kinda need the guy holding that ring on the right side of the blog to step up big time today. We’ll see if the bats can step up, too. Did you guys catch the afternoon scores? Red Sox 15, Nats 18, D-backs 20! Now that was some bat porn doing its thing. *bat porn*. Man, good ol’ Twinner woulda given it to me for that one, eh?

I got a long drive ahead of me today. Maybe the KNBR connection fades in at the right moment, we’ll see….

Didn’t see the game but the box score looks nice. Panik’s hurt again? That’s not moving the needle for me–I never thought he was much. Smarge’s Launching Pad set to go off today. Remember WIlliam VanLaunchingpad? That was a great nickname.

Six teams in front of us in the wild card. Three in front of us in the division. We need a run at some point this year….

When an average pitcher like Luke Weaver is spinning a perfecto against you, at any point after like the 2nd inning, you got problems. I’m not completely down on the Cueto start. He did pitch very well in the minor leagues. I haven’t been able to see what his velo was in the rehab starts.

But come on, if this alternative approach to rehabbing his elbow doesn’t work, will anyone be surprised?

John Gant faces us tonight. They could pitch Ron Gant and probably get the same results.

Baggs had some incredible and depressing stats in his Athletic article today. We scored 3 runs at Coors. The previous low we’ve scored in a 3 game series there was 7. He also noted that, somehow, every Giants starter has a better OPS at home v the road. Think about that. They all hit better at AT&T than anywhere else. Except Longo, he’s got a higher road OPS. But he still isn’t swinging a bat so he’s not worth even discussing right now…

I’m deep in golf mode. If you want to find me I’m either playing Big Meadow or Glaze Meadow every day for the next week….

5 hits, 6 hits….11 hits in 2 games at Coors Field? Max Muncy has hit 18 bombs in the last 46 days. This is what we get when Bochy runs Hunter Pence out there instead of a good Stanford man like Slater…

It is the 4th of July, probably the best day of the year. Go eat 40 hot dogs, slams some beers and maybe somehow, some way the Giants don’t suck for a day and win a game in Colorado….

I’m headed to Black Butte this morning.

Tough one. A very winnable game that got away from us. Can’t win with only 5 hits in Nepal, though.

I’m headed up to Oregon today on a long and meandering trip up and down the west coast. I’ll have a laptop and will keep the threads humming.

Go Giants.

I actually don’t mind going to Colorado as long as both the Giants and the Rockies are going there at the same time. When it’s the Rockies sitting there waiting for us, it’s more dangerous. Tonight both teams are coming to Sherpatown with a similar visual memory index. It’s a more even playing field. Again, if VMI interests you I encourage you to read about it here:

https://www.baseballvmi.com/baseball-indices-sports-weather

I have found it to be an invaluable tool to assist in helping build daily fantasy baseball teams…..

I have some thoughts on Melatonin. Actually, the closer role in general. I feel like the Giants have been screwing this up since they signed Armando Benitez back in 2004. The A’s do a lot of lame stuff but their approach to the closer is something SF really should pay attention to. As Melatonin was unable to finish a game with a 4 run lead I thought of this text that The Bone (my A’s fan buddy) sent me a couple of weeks ago:

In baseball, free agent signings are a huge risk because the players are locked up like servants for so many years before they can leave their original team. Money changes people, not to mention what all those years of playing BEFORE they get to their new team does to the body, the arm, etc. Paying a closer a fortune doesn’t make a lot of sense and is, in fact, kind of a lazy thing to do.

The Giants need to be more like the A’s when identifying stud closers. Draft them, develop them, trade for them if they’re young and controllable. But do not, ever again, sign one to big free agent money.

With Smargerine and Cueto coming back soon, two guys gonna have to go. It’s a great problem to have. Neither vet can come back thinking they’re just sliding comfortably back into their rotation slot. If nothing else, that guarantees focus and effort. And look, none of these Fives are going anywhere. With the exception of Holland, they’re all young. And the best part: they proved they belong up here. If Smarge can’t recapture his magnificent strikeout to walk ratio the Giants aren’t going to keep running him out there every fifth day, there is too much at stake. Glory and destiny is still firmly within reach. And while we don’t have a bunch of Lincecum’s and Cain’s in their prime down on the farm we have multiple guys who can get the job done. In today’s game, I will take that….

I still don’t understand why Minnesota just cast Baby Pudge aside. Their pitching staff is painfully average and non-descript. They couldn’t use a guy like Rodriguez in the rotation? They just let him go for nothing? None of that makes a lick of sense to me unless the answer is, the Twins are just run by buffoons.

…and you shall refer to him as such with a more formal “Mr. Smith” followed by an offer to get him juice or a snack should he request it.

It took that dude a while to earn his name back but in times like these, so dire in the 9th with nobody reliable to turn to, I have suspended calling him That Fucking Lefty Reliever until further notice…

I’d also like to take a moment to honor the fabulous work they’re doing down on The Farm churning out mlb talent ready to contribute to SF Giant wins. Austin Slater played like a man last night.  A brilliant Stanford mind like Slater’s might scoff at the stats I’m about to drop on you claiming small sample size, but MINAJ and UnderPants would have to combine their OPS (.489 +.591 = .1080) in order to surpass where Austin The Great stands today (.974, leading the team).

Baby Pudge keeps the ship afloat tonight against that neverwas, Shelby Miller.

I agree with Loo on the last thread (big t-up dawg, big t-up). Not enough angst was expelled after yesterday’s epic loss. When your team is bubbling it’s way through the season you can’t just *aw shucks* a loss off like that. Especially when we now head into the den of the division leader.

At this point I don’t care who the closer is until Dipshit gets back as long as it isn’t Dyson. That dude does not have the make up for that job. When we were 1000 games out last year it didn’t matter. But I’m calling *head case* on this guy and I don’t want to see him out there in the 9th again unless there’s no one else to use…..

I don’t understand why managers still blindly bring in lefty’s to face Crawford. He’s hitting nearly .300 off them this season. He has a better career average against lefty’s than righty’s. But that continues to not make a difference to the brain dead lemming managers who make these decisions.

These are good problems to have as a fan: This morning I was wondering if the roar for Crawford’s HR was bigger than the roar for Pence’s dribbler. I am nearly positive the dribbler-roar was bigger. I still can’t get over what happened in front of my eyes the other day. I’ll remember that for a long, long time.

If I told you in Spring Training that The Goose would be second on the team in home runs as we get ready to turn the calendar to July you wouldn’t be giving me a knowing dude head nod. You’d probably look at me like this:

Speaking of good ol’ Stix, shouldn’t he be getting out pretty soon for good behavior or some shit? My knowledge of how the prison system works is pretty limited….

Speaking of some other crazy shit, anyone notice Agent 000 doing his best Goose impersonation? He’s hit 4 bombs this year playing part time. I didn’t know he could even hit the ball and have it roll near the warning track….

Somehow CarGo has 5 bombs off MadBum. And drunk ass, washed up Matt Harvey got his 3rd QS last night. That means he only needs two more to win San Dawg all the beers he can drink next March in Reno. Yikes. And I just realized Diggity named his damn broken down RV after that broken down hasbeen fuck.

I’m being swindled. And the writing has been on the wall for 2 years now. All I had to do was read the side of his damn RV and I might have been able to sidestep this wayward bet.

We’ll see what this day off did for the boys. They had played 17 games in a row and they definitely looked tired on Sunday (at least until Pence tapped his dribbler into right field). We have our three aces going (Holland–by nickname, Bum–actual ace, Stratton– team leader in wins). And Colorado doesn’t seem all that interested in playing baseball. There’s something going on with that team. They should be better than 2 games under .500, especially at this point in the year, way before the rigors and stress of traveling to and from Sherpatown all season begin to have a negative affect on their bodies.

Yesterday was my first game of the year and lemme tell ya, I really needed that one to re-charge my batteries. Watching a game on the telly or listening on the radio is fine but there is really nothing like being at the yard.

You do all sorts of things at a game you’d never do elsewhere. Like sing with people. Look, Big Flavor ain’t no campfire jockey. Sitting around and singing songs with other fellows is not how I roll. But get me out to a game and I’ll belt out a few lines to something patriotic or something sappy like “Take Me Out To The Ballgame”.

High fiving strangers and making small talk is also not on my usual list of activities but get me out to a game and I’ll high five the shit out of you if the moment calls for it and even act somewhat interested in convos you start…..

You’ve probably noticed a new feature at the blog. I’ve brought back the thumbs up/down ratings. They have been dormant for about 8 years ever since I added them and Twinfan emailed me repeatedly imploring me to take them down. He said they would encourage others to bully him. I know I said that like 5 times last night but it makes me lqtm every time I say it….

Have fun with the arrows and don’t take anything personally. I don’t foresee any problems. Although I am envisioning a scenario where I’m pitching a no hitter, I’m like 7-0, 10-0, maybe 12-0…all of a sudden some lone wolf fuck t-downs me late in the night and spoils it. Besides wanting to murder that dude I’m not foreseeing any problems…. 🙂

Some photos I took:

from our seats

Willie

lonely Cove

Me and Dave, he grew up across the street with me, I’ve known him since I was 10.

Well, if my first game of the year had to be a non-Bum start I am perfectly fine with it being a Baby Pudge start. I am still obsessing on why the Twins just gave up on this guy. It’s not like they (or any team) is so stocked with young pitching they can just cast off a dude with such limited experience, obvious potential and hall of fame lineage. So I will inspect him closely in between my knowing dude head nods this afternoon.

The Giants usually rake when I attend so this one is in the bag….

(Mac bomb also in the bag in El Paso at Raley Field today)

And……I’m calling a foul ball for me. Why not? Some day that has to happen and we’ve got the seats for plenty of opportunities. So my advice to anyone sitting near me: Practice your duck and cover routine now. There will be an unannounced stop by the Big Flavor train in your row at some point today….

Twin sent me the bat in 2008. I don’t remember why he did it– Scott McClain was one of many things we *batted* around at The Splash and The Flap. He probably sent it to me as some type of gift/apology that always included a shadowy *you owe me* lol. I couldn’t remember the year he sent it so I checked in my gmail archives, always a fun trip down memory lane. Here was one email I sent him:

MadBum goes 8 shutout, Melancon closes the door with a clean 9th–just how Sabes drew it up—15 months ago.

Low scoring, well pitched games as I thought it would be. Super insightful comment here:

Hanson is the disruptive force that we thought Noonie should have been…

….a good reminder that…

No, you can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometime you find
You get what you need……

I don’t know, but I am feeling it in the air. It’s coming….

I’m calling a Mac bomb tonight.

Are we in panic mode yet on Bumgarner? At what point do we say his *spring training* is over and it’s time to step up and pitch….well….ABOVE what they’re paying him? This should be a low scoring game by two dudes who usually dominant this particular opponent.

Great report by Dirt on the last thread, btw. Had me CTM (chuckling to myself) more than once…

With reliable pitching always so scarce around mlb I’m still trying to figure out why the Twins just gave up on Dereck Rodriguez. This is the only blub I can find and it falls short in explaining anything:

“Rodriguez took to his position change quickly and eventually reached the Double-A level with the Twins, but his time with the organization ended after last season.”

One thing we can say for sure: Lately, our fives have stepped up into plucky performing 3’s or 4’s. And if we are ever going to break free from the clutches of the .500 monster, we need these guys to keep pitching above their expectations.

If he’s in the line up today, I’m steadfastly calling for a big fly for Mac. Actually screw it, in OR OUT of the line up. I could see a pinch hit bomb out of Oaf today, easily.

I had to get up at 4am today so I missed the end of last night’s game. Wow, glad I did. To me, it wasn’t the blown save that was bad, those happen, it was Strick’s reaction that has me worried. You can’t be a closer and melt down every time you blow a save. Here’s one take (and it’s spot on):

Of course, Bochy had this take (from Baggs):

“Bochy smirks when asked if the outing shortens Strickland’s leash any.

“There’s no leash on him,” Bochy said. “He probably would take a couple pitches back, but you got to stand behind these guys.

“He’s done a heck of a job in this role.”

The reality is, both of these takes are true.

What a shitty loss. Suarez pitched his ass off…..

EXTREMELY stoked that we get an opportunity to shitcan the Marlins so quickly. I doubt we blow them out tonight but, my flapping friends, a *Suarez Shut Down* game is on the horizon.

The Giants have played the most road games this year of any team in mlb. Any time SF wants to stop spinning its wheels and get fat and happy at home, they are free to start that ASAP….

I never liked Phil Mickleson. He was Denny’s favorite golfer, lulz. This weekend he exposed himself as the fraud I knew him to be. That was *muni golf* bullshit. I am loving watching him go down in the eye of the public….

Those are the number of runs we’ve scored against the Dodgers this year. Pathetic. Yes, we’ve had some guys out. But watching LA play last night, they were a step quicker, unquantifiably better. Did a 3-1 game ever feel further out of reach?

The only silver lining of Bumgarner hum drummin’ his way through this season is that maybe, MAYBE the Giants don’t do something stupid and extend him. Unfortunately that will torpedo his trade value next month. And then what if he comes back next year with something that passes as a *bounce back*? Will Sabean happily open up the vault? Ugh. So much negativity right now….

Happy Father’s Day though. This is a great day to stop and appreciate what you have, what you’ve been given, what you’ve given someone else. I know not everyone’s going to appreciate that, nor should they. I do.

I caught myself wondering how last night’s game would have gone had we had Belt and Longo in the line up. Taking out projected 50 bombs from your batting order is a killer. And what about Cueto pitching instead of our faux ace? I guess you could look at that the other way, what if they had Kershaw going instead of Stripling…..

Bottom line, our team is fighting hard but as we discussed pre-season, this is not a team built to withstand injuries, certainly not as many as they’ve incurred.

Of course we had the poster child for picture of health patrolling center field last night. And look how that worked out…

All I can say is, I hope our boys got some sleep on the plane. This is gonna be a tired group slogging out their today. But there will be electricity in the air and that can power them up a bit. I’m not expecting much. At least we have our ace going. If you’re playing daily fantasy I wouldn’t slur you for playing a Stripling or two……

Matt Harvey Day. He takes his 5.04 Cincy ERA out there tonight vs Pittsburgh. The silver lining for him is that the Pirates are unceremoniously the one team Harvey’s managed to cobble a quality start against. He’s made 14 starts this year.

The Reds don’t care about winning, this is just a stunt….

I’m not that worried about the pen. I’m not a big fan of Moronta because he can’t throw strikes sometimes but look at the ERA of these guys. I trust all of these guys still. Sure there could be a burn out issue, that’s obvious with all the damage the five 5’s have been doing. But these guys are not the problem right now.

Will Smith giving up that rocket to Bour was a huge issue but that was just one pitch. And I thought Strickland was decent enough, he got put in a tough situation.

Screw Miami. They aren’t playing well there. Last week they beat Stras and Scherzer, if they can do that they can beat anyone…..

_______________________

the Ohtani Tracker hasn’t been updated at espn since May 27th. Could be time to remove that tab. Who’s running that website anyway? Anyone home?

Not trying to make excuses for them, but I wonder how the Giants are affected by playing in front of such a sparse, staid crowd. Miami is used to it, it’s almost part of their home field advantage. That’s pathetic.

This guy Caleb Smith is actually pretty good. Big K rate anyway. Our backs are up against the wall if we are going to even this series up by Thursday.

When Cory Gearrin is the player of the game, you probably didn’t win the game. And that’s disappointing and shouldn’t have happened. When you give Bum 5 runs you are supposed to win. When your first four hitters go 8 for 16, you are supposed to win. Cory Gearrin getting POTG when all that happens makes no sense….

Anyone going to parade today? I’m counting this one as my number 11. I got 5 SB’s, 3 WS and 3 NBA championships. I don’t count the ones when I wasn’t alive. I didn’t count the one the Warriors won in ’75, I wasn’t watching back then. So, mine go to…..

Brandon Crawford is hitting .338 this season. Let that sink in. Last night I listed off the four most important factors to the team’s success this year (Belt, Craw, bullpen, Holland) and I’m open to that list getting revised. Does Stratton and his 7 wins have to be included in there somewhere, maybe in front of Holland? And how can you not include Strickland? He hasn’t blown a save since April 18th! Now, he’s had some shaky appearances for sure. But is there anything more deflating than a blown save? And is there any love for Gorks or Hundley?

I’m still sticking to Belt and Craw at the top, without their offense we’d be in ruins. And the bullpen stands out for me, too.

So if you had to do it, with a gun to your head, who would be your #4?

Now we finally got the answer to “Why did the Twins let Young Pudge go?” Even with his horribleness, we could have won the game with a little more hitting. Is Nick Hundley the best back up catcher in baseball? He has been one of our MVP’s this year.

Today could get ugly but I thought the same thing the night we faced Stras so who knows…..

my spam filter was funny this morning….

With starting pitchers dropping like flies all over mlb there is still every reason to believe that we are in a strong position to win the NL West this season. Obviously that assumes our health woes are behind us and who knows, maybe they’ve just begun…..

If I’m Bochy I throw everything at the Nats today. We aren’t winning tomorrow. Let’s claw for a win today…..

I made my feelings clear about Justify on the last thread. Loo and I seem to be in lockstep on this one. The horse we agree on is Tenfold. I also feel strongly about Vino Rosso and/or Hofburg blazing past a winded Justify in the stretch. Either way it will be an exciting day leading up to the race that will, hopefully, not see a triple crown coronation in the winners circle…..

Summer day, Giants baseball in DC, NBA championship to win in Cleveland….Stop and appreciate a day like this, the moments that make it up. There are a lot of shitty days in the year. Win or lose, today isn’t one of them….

With all the excitement the Warriors have been bringing to The Bay lately it’s been tough to stay focused on baseball. But yesterday’s game has been circled and will be remembered as one of the critical wins of the season. We simply have to find ways to get Hanson on the field more often. Screw this *secret weapon* crap. That shit is hit or miss anyway. He is ELECTRIC and for a team that lacks electricity he needs to be playing more often. The Giants should be working NOW on getting him more OF time.

This trip through DC is always my least favorite of the year. It usually happens a little later, right? Early July? It’s always hot as fuck, draining, we usually suck and this time we have to maneuver through Stras and Scherzer. The we have to forage through more road trip and the road has not been our friend this year. Whatever, gotta figure out how to win on the road at some point, might as well be now…..

Bum was ok last night. In fact, he could have used more *O’s* and *K’s*. But whatever, he’s back and he has to come back and pitch his ass off if we are going to do anything this year.

I’m not gonna freak out if the Dubs lose tonight. I want to see them win the championship at Oracle. Picking where you want your team to win it all is a pretty dangerous game to play, I know. The other thing I want: No crazy stuff with the Cleveland fans. They’re all nuts and the Warriors have gotten completely in their head. Tonight is going to be a crazy pressure cooker where deindividuation can occur and I am concerned for the safely of Draymond, Steph, KD, etc. Malice in the Palace type of stuff….

Let’s also see what kind of impact Bum’s return has on our Fives. I firmly believe it’s important to have an ace on the staff who can provide leadership that guides the rest of the staff. Stratton is the first man up to test that theory…..

Is there something the baseball Gods are trying to tell us with the Giants crawling back to .500 for MadBum’s “opening day?” That was the percentage most of us threw out there when we discussed what the Giants would have to do while Bum and Cueto healed their broken bodies….

“broken bodies.” That term is hitting me hard right now. Dwight Clark was one of my favorite players of my lifetime, easily top 5 with #6 and beyond well down the list. He and Joe made sure I wouldn’t have to spend my youth not knowing what it felt like to win a championship. I was 12 years old the day he left earth and refused to let that ball hit the ground. Two weeks later we beat the Bengals and literally the rest of my life I’ve known this feeling.

RIP #87

……Cleveland fans continue to weep about NBA officiating on Twitter. Bottom line: the Warriors are just much better. Their pussy fans need to suck it up and accept that…..

This is a pretty big series with Arizona. I’ve been hearing about how badly the D-Backs are under performing this year. Time to see it with my own eyes. They have good players on that team. I’m not confident, especially without Belt…..

Draft Day! I don’t really care who they draft as long as it isn’t the high school kid Cole Winn. Take one of the college players. We need help as soon as possible.

There’s been a fun game running on twitter lately: Without revealing your age, what’s one thing you remember that a young person wouldn’t understand?

There are obviously a ton of answers. The first one that came to me: a water bed.

Happy to get a win but this is all a mirage. You can’t win in today’s game, consistently, with dinky-dunky-bullshit. With Belt out some bats need to step up big time. Panik has been nice, getting on base, scoring a run. But we need more than that. It seems the 5 Fives need to be at home to do their least damage. So from that standpoint maybe all isn’t lost.

This series has been a great reminder about park factors. The Phillies blasted us to the moon in their ball park. Now they come out west and can’t score a run.

Dub Nation tonight. Rise up!!!!!!!

Such a frustrating win. And doesn’t feel like the baseball Gods are trying to tell us something. So close to getting the squad back together and then something stupid like this happens to Belt.

But injuries happen to everyone. Baggs brought up a good point on why these types of injuries to our starters can be so devastating to a team like the Giants. Read on:

“The Giants have not drafted and developed a proven everyday player since graduating Panik to the big leagues in 2014, which is understandable to some degree. It’s an inexact science. It’s not easy to do.

But their struggle to draft and develop replacement-level players? Someone who could play a serviceable shortstop behind Brandon Crawford or catch at Triple-A Sacramento or fill out an affiliate’s rotation better than someone rescued from an independent league? A team needs contributions from those players over a 162-game season, too. A car without an engine doesn’t get out of the parking lot. Neither does the car without $6 spark plugs.”

Belt going down has just about broken my spirit about this season. They can’t withstand this many injuries. They just aren’t built for it…..

What an incredible Game 1 that was. If I didn’t hate Cleveland fans I would feel some sympathy for them. That dope @vernthompson was rage tweeting last night. Lots of capitals and exclamation points. But hey, JR Smith is a known dunce, that’s gotta get old to deal with all the time. And that reversed call? Man, that was a gift. I can’t remember a reviewed call on charge that got changed to a block. Certainly not in a situation like that….

Hoping Philly plays a little differently in our yard. That’s a reasonable hope. Pivetta has been very good this year but not nearly as good on the road (2.20 ERA at home, 5.82 ERA on road). Stratton (who sucks) might be able to keep us in this game if he has begun recovering from his battle with postpartum.

You know the drill, we need to count on our bats again….

Ok, thankfully that is over. They won two, probably should have won 3 since Monday’s game was right there for the taking, but the bottom line is that they played like a .250 win percentage team. No game today, as God intended, and now all our energy and focus turns to Oaktown where the Dubs begin their brilliant march back towards glory. I know we will all stand as one Flapping Nation as their destiny unfolds. 🙂 🙂 🙂

Derek Holland is a fine #5. But when you’re #1 of the Fives you have a problem. This season that looked doomed after Bum, Smarge and then Cueto went down is realistically in grave danger if we don’t get get one or two of these fivers to start going 6 innings. That may be too much to ask.

Last night was just a bad game. Wash it off and move on. One thing we all agreed on was that this was going to be a brutal road trip. So we should have all built up a resistance for this stretch. I actually think Bum returning could have a more positive effect than just one start every 5 games. This staff needs a leader badly, he will make them all a little better. And at this point who wouldn’t rather see Dereck Rodriguez in for Smargerine? Because that’s probably the newest member to The 5 Fives.

Besides the loss, Longo studded out. Posey finally hit a ball out. Today isn’t going to be any better with Flyball Holly pitching but if we don’t play defense and only hit solo bombs it doesn’t matter who’s starting for us in Colorado.

Tough loss last night. Any game we have a chance to win on this brutal roadie we need to close the deal. Smarge in Nepal? Yikes. At some point this guy has to get back into the strike zone (although you could argue that was actually his problem last season).

Dubs/Cavs finals again. Four straight years. Is that a problem? Not if you’re a fan of one of those teams, I guess. But this is probably not ideal for the NBA if they are looking to keep fans buying season tickets to teams that apparently have no chance of ever seeing the finals.

I’m going with Dubs in 5 (assuming Love comes back). If he’s out I think we sweep them. Lebron can’t win a game completely alone against this stacked squad. I hate Cleveland fans and look forward to this wipe out.

Friends, prepare for annihilation. Total wipe out destruction. Look away, this one is going to be hideous.

I’d like to say, “hey this is baseball, anything can happen.” But I don’t really believe that anything can happen. About the only thing I can think of to hold on to is that Colorado is only 9-12 at home. But that’s obviously a freak stat that will correct itself starting tonight.

Thank God we have The Dubs to distract us from this nightmare.

Hopefully bad things don’t come in twos.

Giants calling up Derek Rodriguez (Pudge’s son). These jokers with the hair, Jesus.

Tyler Chatwood is beatable if we are patient with him. He has an unseemly 41/40 SO/bb ratio. Seriously, how can you start games and walk that many dudes? Anyway, if Blach can *five* his way through this game I like our chances.

My buddy asked me last night “Isn’t it less satisfying to beat the Rockets without Chris Paul?” And I was like “uh, no, are you an idiot?” Tough luck for them but winnings championships is a long journey that is always worth it no matter how you get there. It’s so hard to get to the top of the mountain. I don’t have any idea what will happen tomorrow night but it’s Game 7 and there isn’t a more fun moment in sports. I can’t decide who I want to win tonight. On one hand I’d like to see Boston stick it to Lebron and watch Cleveland fans weep in unison on twitter. On the other hand, the Cavs would be a cakewalk in the Finals.

At some point James has to slow down. He HAS to. Dude is a machine. He’s better than Jordan the same way Brady is better than Montana.

Stratton’s wife gave birth on 4/24. Check out what happened since:

He seems to be welcoming walks and home runs to the family as well. But he’s placed strikeouts up for adoption….

Jose Quintana is ok. He can fire up a good game now and again as well as a “5 Five” type of game. Actionless and Longo have had decent success vs him. Hoping we see Mac instead but Jackson can’t just sit on the bench in perfect health all the time. He needs to play now and again, maybe Gork’s sits today. Actually, he’s one of our main power hitters and he did hit a bomb yesterday so he and Willy probably play, Actionless sits; collecting dust and hording perfect health…..

Five years ago….

Trying times in the Bay these days. At least we have our *ace* going today. Holland (who sucks less than the other 4 guys) is faced with a task today for sure. And for added fun the wind is blowing out.

Whatever, we just need to hit the ball. Forget the pitching, hit the damn ball. Win a damn game.

Speaking of *five guys*, the Warriors have become the ultimate front runners who can stroke it when there’s no pressure on them. But lately, when the moment arises and we see who stands tall and who falls there has been a lot more *falling* than *standing*. These guys are coming out of time outs in critical situations and it’s like they’re playing basketball for the first time in their lives….

The Houston series went pretty much how we thought it would go. I had hoped they’d take the first one but losing both was hardly a surprise. For *fun* I checked the collective ERA of our 5 Fives and was secretly hoping it would zero out exactly at 5.00. It didn’t. 5.22. The question is whether they could whittle that down to an even 5 by the end of this roadie and I think I’d take the “hell no” on that bet. But who knows? Anyone see these five fellows whacking their number down to 5.00?

Yesterday was just one of those days in sports you just gotta wash off. Everything went wrong. I should have known it was going to be a bad night after Matt Harvey cobbled together his first quality start of the bet. Embarrassing for Pittsburgh. And for me after I talked a bunch of shit about him.

The Giants are going to continue to get killed if they can’t outhit the damage the Five Fives will be causing. And really, if they get blown out in all 8 of these games it’s a solid indication that this isn’t their year, that even with a strong streak of resiliency, they couldn’t overcome the devastation to the starting pitching staff. Smarge has a large start tonight. Maybe The Panda gets in Verlander’s head. He’s just a man…..

The Warriors flat out choked. No other way to put it. Houston deserves credit for playing hard and not giving up but you don’t blow big leads like that in the playoffs in your house. That was awful. And I don’t even know what that was at the end of the game. What was that?

Bad day. But it’s cool because you don’t get to know what a good day feels like without some of the shit ones thrown in there for reference…..

If we are going to take one in Houston, today is probably the day. I’m gonna have to see this new and improved Gerrit Cole for myself before I believe he’s the AL CY leader. His K’s are up, his walks are down and he’s dominating in a hitters park. It doesn’t usually work that way.

Personally I’m more worried about one of our unfab five taking the hill. Suarez? Against these guys? Pfffttttt….I think we’ll hit Cole but this could be a high scoring game….

Tomorrow? Verlander is the best pitcher in baseball. Maybe he’ll have an off day or something…..

What we know for sure: There are five of them. And they aren’t very good. If they were hitters they’d be snapped up by The Bowker Gang in an nanosecond. Their ladies are big as houses….

Actually I don’t know about that last one.

But there is definitely a problem with these 5 sordid soldiers. Their ceiling is low, their floor so far down I can barely see it.

But we need these 5 felicitous fellows as there are not 5 better chosen to do this type of shit job…..

The bullpen is ragged. The bats are tired. But it’s all hands on deck until we get Bum and Cueto back and Smarge stops slumming with these dudes….

This road trip is gonna be….my advice is to look away. Just look away….

Congrats to the Rays for having the balls to let Yarbrough pitch to two batters three times. He faced Pujols and Simmons 3 times. Wow. I can’t believe he made it through such a grueling task.

Here’s a cutting edge idea: how about you just never pitch your starting pitcher at all? Yeah, announce him as the starting pitcher….but just start Romo every game….at some point….warm him up 2 or 3 times….then….never….bring…..him….in.

That would trick the shit out of the opposition, eh? Saves wear and tear on that arm, too.

Cautiously optimistic about Blach today. He’s from Colorado and has pitched well against them in the past. Today is a pretty critical game. We are about to embark on a most difficult stretch of the schedule. Two in Houston, three at Wrigley and then three in Nepal. If we went 3-5 I’d be ecstatic but feel like it’s going to be worse than that…..